My Journey

Music and Me

2012-01-25T15:35:00.001+05:30

Most resumes one comes acrosswill have ‘Music’ listed as a hobby. Well, it was in my resume also about 3years ago. I’d mentioned books/ reading as well. To me both are extinct today –from my life at least. I don’t have any hobby now. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I onlyhave serious business and I call that parenting. I manage to get some officework also done in the meantime. Come to think of it, they should’ve never beenfeatured as my hobbies. I’d taken neither seriously.

I love to read books and I’ll dothat even today if I can curl up in a corner with some tea and chips. Oh how I loveto listen to music. I cannot for the life of me, multitask – to me raising twochildren, managing work, in-laws and home is multitasking enough. The rest ofthe time I get goes indulging the TV. I like that I don’t have to use my mindwhen watching it. Given a chance, I don’t mind getting back to reading books…infact I yearn for it on days, I’m sure the chance will present itself soon.

But music….it’s a long story. I haven’tfigured out what I like. I can’t understand English music, of any kind. My dadhad banned Abba as he thought it to be choir-ish. I don’t think he listened toanything English after that. It was mostly Indian Carnatic music and Tamil filmmusic that got played on loops in our home. In my teens, I tried following someof the then favorites to look cool…I still like my Backstreet Boys. I got tiredof trying to associate my ‘love’ for music with a genre. In a typical Tam-Bramhousehold, girls are almost always sent to a Carnatic music teacher for vocallessons. My grand-ma was a teacher herself. She taught me for some days andwhen back home from vacations, I went to some nearby aunties to get trained. AfterI started, my sister also joined. She was slow initially, but surpassed me inlater years in both gaining the depth and voice culture. So ran my training forover twelve years. There were some parts of those years that I enjoyed. But I don’tthink I grasped enough. I was and am pretty mediocre. I didn’t want to keep showcasingmy mediocrity, especially when my sister was doing way better. I justconveniently used by board exams and lack of interest to drop out of my music classes.She continued though…well into her undergrad days in Pilani and did some catchingup in her grad days in the US. My grand-ma still insists on listening to ussing together. Apparently my sister’s voice provides the nuances to a song,while I give the body required for a duet. She even imagines that we could’verocked the Carnatic music scene had we been committed. Well…I don’t want tobreak the truth to her. I was never interested. Music does not make sense tome.

Please don’t judge me. I loveIlayaraja, some AR Rahman, some Bollywood music and Carnatic music renditions. Ilisten to them. I hum a lot of songs. I sing lullabies to my children. I catchthe tunes of even ad jingles very fast and sing along when they play again. That’show much I am capable of. I was in denial before. That how could I not enjoymusic so passionately? How could I be the person who’s no more than a simplelay audience when the family and friends are full of junta who knows-it-all. Ihave friends who are crazy rock music fans, they strum, they sing along, theyhead bang…I just watch them and revel in the moment. I enjoy their company anda chance to see them display their passion is all that I want to observe.Music, at that moment, appears to be their food, air and soul and it’s great tosee them that way. I don’t seek/ search for the new records that arereleased..if I happen to hear something, it stays with me for some days andthen I forget until its played again by someone. I don’t have the patience tosit through a song for its lyrics. I can’t understand the beauty in poetry. Iread some…if the first couple of lines catch my attention or if its highlyrecommended by friends. My husband loves poetry. I don’t know why anyoneappreciates it. They might not be able to get why its not my cuppa. I’ve realizedthat I am not an arts person. Even when I’d mentioned the learning to dance as ato-do thing in my bucket list, I think it was more to do with the fun I couldhave with Sri.

To someone who raises an eyebrow – don’t know Scorpions? Beatles?Metallica? Indian Ocean?.....Sorry, NO.

Go ahead. Judge. I won’t.

2011

2011-12-23T14:42:00.000+05:30

Jan:
Started the year in Chennai. Talks of Nithya's wedding formally began (literally rang in the new year with that). Bought our second car. I still drive my Maruti-800, while Sri's turned the big car snob, grrrrr.

Feb:
Advait's 1st bday preparation took most of our time. Explored and moved into a different role in the same company. Executed the b'day pretty well. Pat on our backs :)

Mar:
Discussed Nithya's engagement date probables. Sri changed jobs, new company, better position. But little did I know I'm going to see lesser of this guy going forward. If I could call it an accomplishment, completely weaned Advait off me *sigh*

Apr:
Tamil new year & Vishu celebrations. Nothing much actually - too much routine maybe!!

May:
Nithya's engagement ceremony. Oct 31 fixed as the d-day.

June:
School reopens for Aditi. Did a quick trip to Coimbatore for a function in the family. Did Advait's tonsure in Tirupati (left Aditi behind in Bangalore, a thing she still is not ok with). What a memorable trip it was. We came back with 30 odd laddoos for all friends and family.

July:
Sudden demise of a family member (Sri's uncle) in Mumbai. Managed work and chaotic home somehow, with in-laws gone to help the family in mourning. Began wedding shopping for Nithya (she cannot thank me enough for the saree choices I made...but its a thankless job eh...being the bridesmaid et al).

Aug:
Had one of the best Independence day weekends ever. But all fun lost when the cousin who visited us for the weekend passed away in a freak accident in Chennai. I dont remember much of the rest of the month except that I cried a lot.

Sep:
We tried to move on. Work got a bit hectic. Did a LOT of wedding planning, shopping for the children etc. Did I begin carpooling to office this month? hmm..I think so.

Oct:
Traveled to Chennai in the first week to invite relatives from my in-laws side for the wedding. Worked for a couple of weeks and was gone for about 10 days for the wedding. Super fun was had - the way I wanted to at my sis' wedding.

Nov:
Got back to Blr on 9th from Chennai (celebrated parents' 30th wedding anniversary), faced some nanny issues back home, made some temp arrangements (split the timings between 2 maids so the nanny who complained could still make it to work. She was very good with Advait) Carpooler guys (2 guys and me) take me out on my b'day for a small treat. Sri surprises me with a bracelet. Love it. Its my everyday wear now. The carpooler guys and I go out for lunch the next week - my treat. In al, a good b'day. Generally bonding well with the carpooler guys - we discuss a lot of stuff, make a lot of pitstops (or say, bajji/ bonda stops :P)

Dec:
Parents visit us for an extended weekend which was a lot of fun, with Advait entertaining them very well. Nanny turns tantrummy (like our house won't run without her presence - she lied to us and went awol for 4 days) and we fire her. Hmmph..good riddance. Found another one on the very same day. But as luck would have it, Advait ran away from her at sight and she tried cajoling him for 3-4 days and quit. We are nanny-less for the first half of the day now. Well, the world didnt crash ...so there! Thats probably how we will stay for sometime. Aditi's turns 5 tomorrow and we've planned a b'day party with just her friends in the apartment like last year. Hope we have a good time.

Not bad eh....apart from all of this, the promotion I've been waiting for hasn't happened this year. But my manager says he will recommend in the Jan-Feb cycle. I am trying to evaluate my current career choice with the priorities at the moment to see if I am able to strike a balance.....so already something up for me in 2012.

Here's wishing y'all a peaceful 2012!

Seriously?!

2011-12-14T16:25:00.001+05:30

Some years back, maybe a year before I got married, this beautician of mine told me -

"Never trust a woman who has a comb in her handbag"

WTF! Really?

I didn't go back to her again.

Somehow happened to think of her as I detangled my hair in the office restroom.

To you, R

2011-08-19T12:11:00.000+05:30

I have known you for 6 years now, very much the time I've been married. To think that 6 years is all its ever going to be is not a pleasant feeling. I don't have a word to describe the relationship and the rapport we shared. The world calls it in different names - in probably every language. To me it was not just that - in fact we never were what the relationship term meant us to be.

I don't remember when I started talking to you the way we did. It was easy to talk to you and could connect with you immediately on many counts. We'd talk of careers, siblings, movies, everything under the sun - perfectly understanding what the other wants to tell. I remember how you behaved the minute Sri and I told you we were in the family way. Every time I think of it, I chuckle. From one minute where you let me carry the food to the table to set it up, to the next where you insisted you'll only do it, treating me like one fragile piece, good fun it was. We hadn't told anyone in the family except parents at that time. Well, we probably wouldn't have told you when we did, had I not got my nausea attack right then :P And how fond of Aditi you and K have been? (Well I think Advait's time with you guys paled in comparison to the ones Aditi had as he is not an attention seeker) You don't know this - that I was told off by your mom for taking your side arguing with her to let you take the time you need to get married. Then the girl-dheko phase :P Then the wedding last year.

We haven't fought, have we? And we can never now. Now that you've betrayed us. Sri called me to tell me that. I'd have ripped you apart if you were in front of me. I wanted to yell at you for not taking the helmet. Sri then told me the helmet was shattered. You were not just my husband's cousin, you were my friend, my batch mate (remember when you realised we were only a month apart and you don't actually have to call me 'manni' (bhabhi)). You were the son everyone would yearn to have given birth to. You and K are what N and I are to our parents. I dont think there is anyone who doesn't like you for the genuine person you are/ have been.

Why did you come to spend the Aug 15 weekend with us? I see you in every corner of our house and I can't bear to think that was the last I saw of you. It breaks my heart to see your wife mourn you. You left Bangalore without playing Taboo with us. Without finishing that breezer. Without taking your wife to the Iskon temple she wanted to see. Without the mandatory dinner at our Dhaba.

I'll miss you da. Badly.

Our adventure called Claytopia

2011-04-27T14:46:00.001+05:30

Most Bangloreans with kids might have heard of this place called Claytopia.Its a small Bistro in Indiranagar, with some fun things to do for the kids. I'd been wanting to take Aditi there so she can enjoy some painting in a good ambience. I had expected the two hours we wanted to spend there to turn out to be fun and memorable. It was. And How!

The Good Friday holiday was the day I chose to drive Aditi to Claytopia. We started at about 3 in the afternoon, reached the place in less than 20 minutes as it is not very far from where I stay. I'd briefed her the day before on what she can do there and piqued her interest. She would ask every five minutes if we were already there. She asked if we can get the painted stuff back home and show it to grand parents. Well, because these guys take about 10 days to get your item glazed and ready, I told her, we'll take pictures and share it with them. This was my first time inside the place too. We'd passed by like millions of times, but on different errands/ times/ en route to something else....and promise ourselves that we will explore it the next time around. Anyway, secretly I'd wanted a day out alone with Aditi (because Advait is anyway taking a lot of my time these days) so she'd feel a little special and all that. Coincidentally, Sri was travelling to Mysore for work and it was just Aditi and me. On hindsight I feel Sri and I should go there (just us) so we can have good fun painting....I am the non-painter or non-artist at home, but I think this place has the charm that's gotten to me and I could get creative too!!

I digress. So we got there, I showed myself and Aditi the place around, asked Aditi what she'd like to paint. She settled for a salad plate, which she wants to hang on our wall once its glazed (like the many she saw there). I would've liked to paint the butterfly there, but this time around, I settled for watching Aditi have all the fun. Once we settled on the thing to paint, Aditi was given a choice of 4 colours, stencils of basic shapes, water in a bowl, brushes and some basic dos and don'ts. She wanted to make a plate of stars, after one star, she wanted a heart, then an apple, then some circles here and there. She then wanted to make the plate a Barbie plate. She stopped drawing on the plate and decided she wanted to paint them already. I decided she will have her way...whatever the outcome. She used some light and dark green, yellow, pink and some leftover purple from someone else's table. The lady there, Clementina, was very helpful too. I was only worried if the plate would glaze well....whether it will not bubble up (as more than 2 coats of paint could). She ensured she will try her best...we still have a week more to go before we collect it.

All well so far..so where's the adventure, you may ask. Right here baby! By the time she'd done painting, it had started raining. We decided we'll have a quick bite and I ordered a sandwich, fries and something to drink. By the time we polished them off our plates, it'd started pouring badly. I paid the bills, one for food and another for the plate glazing. We waited by the door for the rain to stop and it showed no signs of doing just that. My car (good old Maruti 800) was parked slightly down the road. Clementina said she'll help us get to the car and took two umbrellas, gave us one (I carried Aditi on my hip) and ran to the car. Water almost half covered the already low car. Because the road was low lying, water was gushing down in such a force, it was tough to even open doors and get in. I pushed Aditi in to the passenger side, asked her to get to the back seat and got in from the passenger side too. I drove upstream and reached an area which was slightly better, but couldnt see a thing as they were sheets of rain. Somehow managed to get to the road which was a junction (a very low lying one) between Indiranagar and Jeevan Bheema Nagar (slightly up). People had all parked their cars on the roadside and were looking at me like I was a mad woman. And I really was, because I somehow sensed if I missed this opportunity to get home now, I might be stranded with my daughter, and away from my son who has never stayed away from me in all the 13 months!

Aditi decided to call upon gods to help us, then cartoons Chhota Bheem, Ben 10 and even Hanuman came by and went. It was a brief 5-10 minutes, but seemed the longest when we (the M-800) waded in the water between the low lying and higher road junction. I thought I will not be able to make it. But we did.....I called Sri then to tell him we were almost safe. He gave me some tips to stay afloat during these times, to mitigate damage to the vehicle also. He chided I didnt take our other car, which could've handled this well. I hadnt known then, did I? We faced a similar, but not so grave situation near BEML....but I was braver, because we had just seen worse. The car struggled a bit, but I just pushed it to get us out of there..and it did. Safely home a while later I couldnt thank all gods known and unknown for bringing me back to my love safely. Only when I read papers the next morning did I realise, that I could've really put ourselves in grave danger had I delayed my decision to come home even a wee bit longer.

When we were leaving for Claytopia in the afternoon, Aditi asked me 'Amma, isn't our car a brave car?' I'd then mentioned 'No baby, cars cannot be brave'. Now, I think our car is a brave car!!

Advait turns 1

2011-03-09T11:11:00.000+05:30

Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

So many things have happened during the year he's been with us.

Advait saw the light 10 days ahead of due-date
As with Aditi, some feeding issues....
Lot of tension at home with regards to my dad's office; no household help for my mom
Dealt (and dealing) with Aditi's reaction to her brother
Had to cut short my stay with parents by a month
Came home to a messy home with a 2.5 month old kid
Bad infections he had to go through right in his fourth month, given meningitis dosage of drugs, intravenous; constant depression we were in; suspected Kawasaki
Slow health and weight gain, a couple of months of relief
Total clinginess to me (amma) affecting my ability to work
Diwali in Chennai; Aditi akka's birthday' Nithi Chithi's visit from the US
Appa's new job, a new car in the family
The kids bonding with each other - still fighting for toys. Realising Advait (even at 10 months) is the more 'chalu' type and understood need to protect Aditi
A well planned and organized Ayushyahomam function
More clinginess like never before annoying me like mad
No inclination to take the first step and happy crawling away to glory

Love you, boy! A very Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots more to come.

A post a month...at least?

2011-02-22T14:03:00.000+05:30

Yeah, maybe!

Same time last year, I was waiting for the baby to show up....it did on March 9. I came back from Chennai in May, employed this lady as a 'nanny' to take care of my son sometime in mid-June.

All hell has broken loose......just a few days ahead of my son's first birthday, which we are busy planning for, she has quit. She has gone back to her hometown due to some personal family issues.

She was good with him......but doesn't deserve a blog post. I had told myself a post a month, and this is my excuse for one.

Where do they make nannies who are good with kids, responsible, presentable and reasonably priced? Some of my friends seem to have found them and I want to be lucky for once!

What's for 2011?

2011-01-11T14:02:00.001+05:30

The year has begun with a positive note....my boss decided to give me a 'decent' bonus though not a great hike. There's a story behind the not-so-good hike. Well, do I look like I've set myself up to be dooced? We'll am not revealing too much, ok?

Here it is -

My manager (Indian by origin) works out of the US and he had come visiting his team once during last year. I was just back from maternity leave. During a fun game of writing notes about his team, he made a rather serious comment on me (not) maintaining a healthy work-life balance. I was impressed. I hadn't expected him to have noticed my 'hard' work anyways. In the ensuing months, I ensured I took his advice seriously.

The d-day of performance review dawned and in passing he remarked that I was not available to work the way I used to be earlier. I mean, I seriously used to be working India time and US time (half-day!!). It had been very convenient for the team there to coordinate with me. Well, I received a lot of flak from home for that. I was fully preggers with Advait and I wouldn't budge from the laptop for even a timely dinner. So when the manager said what he did, it was a great 'Duh!' moment for me. I realised no matter what, by design, a superior is meant to do what he/ she is meant to do. Screw your happiness!

So the bonus was good to reflect the pre-Advait work hours and the hike, 'reasonable' to reflect the post-kid period.

Let's not begin the year with complaints, shall we? All said and done, I am happy wherever I am, as I had just wanted to continue working even after the baby. Kudos for the support I get and a million thanks for everything.

Here's to a happy 2011.

The Year That Was

2010-12-23T16:30:00.000+05:30

A year in which I hardly blogged; not that I am a regular. But yeah, the boy and work together made it tougher for me to do more than just read blogs. The year which began with me yearning to just look at my baby, is ending with one boy turning naughtier by the day. The girl has grown up. My husband and I have fought more. We are together fighting more too. But I am thankful for what I have today.

I wanted to do a month by month update of what happened in the year which was 2010. It flew by. And I just don't have the words or time (???) to put them all in an order.

I have a lot of plans for 2011, many aspirations, desire to see some milestones whizz past. I hope I begin 2011 with a similar yearning as 2010 and end it with at least as much peace if not more.

For all of you (I don’t have any more readers, do I?) passers-by:

My best wishes for 2011 to bring you more peace.

Happy New Year!

Aditi goes to Chennai

2010-09-30T15:16:00.002+05:30

From the time Advait has come into our family picture, Aditi's behaviour has changed - slowly. I wont say if its for the better or worse, because, I am not sure myself. She is extremely fond of her brother some days, indifferent some other days or just plain angry rest of the days. I don't blame her. Advait's health has been a cause of concern for us. He caught some infections when he was 4 months old, had to get anti-biotics via IV. Some hell, some trauma and some drama. At one point, with his platelet count report, a doc suggested we do an Echogram for the 4 month old, to rule out 'Kawasaki', which had meant only bikes before, for us. I am not at a stage where I am fully free of worries about my kids' health. If Advait's recovering, Aditi used to fall sick. I was back at work and it was (still is) pretty stressful. Maybe all this 'caring' for Advait caught her fancy. Now wait, I did not begin this post to write about all this!

My in-laws planned for a trip to North India and my mom filled in for them to take care of my kids and hold fort here. They came back this Monday and when my mom left for Chennai last night, I sent Aditi along with her as her school was closed for Dusshera already. I'd ask her 'If she's go to Chennai with her grandma, and she'll reply with a firm No at one time and get fascinated by an opportunity to hit the beach and cry a thumping Yes another time. Not even 4 yet, my mom was not sure if she was ready. She's gone on trips with in-laws and parents separately before. But that was when Advait wasn't here. However this time, I was sure she should go, because, if she stayed home for 2 weeks, boredom will hit her and she'll wreck havoc at home with both of us very busy in our jobs.

Aditi left for Chennai with my mom last night. My parents are excited to have her, I know. Its a welcome change for my dad to break away from his packed and mundane routine. My mom's already planned some to-do things for her. So, all's well there *fingers crossed*. I hope she enjoys a week there, before she comes back home.

But things at home are not great! Advait's leaky nose is worsening. Sri and I are already missing our daughter like crazy. Advait's presence is not balancing Aditi's absence. It's a different feeling for me - with one not at home. Some heaviness in the heart. Hmm, I sigh. My in-laws miss her too. For them, its already more than a week since they saw her. They came back, wished my mom well and the next day, my mom and Aditi have left. This gives them and us a lot of time (the time saved running behind her, feeding, bathing and chaperoning) to rest ourselves. But we rather lose all our sleep over what to do with the brat or how to keep her occupied than wonder what she's doing there. Sri asked me if this is how we feel if she left for college. That's like a loooong time, right! We don't want to think about it.

We miss you already Adi kut. Have a wonderful time at Thatha & Paatti's. Get back home! (I'll give you your new paints & brush, promise)

Advait & Amma

2010-06-21T16:04:00.000+05:30

At 3 months

News! (as of March 9, 2010)

2010-04-08T07:16:00.000+05:30

Its a baby boy!!!!!

Aditi's brother is going to be named Advait.

Okay, until next year then!!! :P

2009-12-31T09:58:00.000+05:30

I have been awfully tied down with work, ill health etc this month. I hope its a great 2010 for all of us.

I am pathetically late to post the post I composed for my husband's thirtieth birthday which was on the 28th of December. Well, just got around to publish it now - sorry, Sri.

And yes, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all.

Those thirty things

Sri, wish you a very happy birthday. I wish you many more to come. May God bless you with a healthy, happy, prosperous and joyous year ahead! Of course, I plan to enjoy the journey along with you.

As you turn 30 this day, here is something for you – a list of things about you, some things I like and love in you, some things you don’t know about yourself or those you refuse to acknowledge

1. You dare to dream and also dare to live your dreams

2. You have such a good gift of the gab. Heck! I fell for that

3. You are the more artsy person of the two of us

4. You love Aditi more than you love me (Aditi loves me more than she loves you, ha-ha!)

5. You are a good sport more often than not

6. You swear a lot

7. You are so effing short tempered (No! It’s not pot calling kettle black)

8. You like to help people genuinely in trouble – no matter how much out of the way you might have to go

9. You love to fight me for Koorkai, but you also love to give up that one extra for me

10. You are a very good people manager

11. You hate to admit that I drive better than you do

12. You are pathetic in managing finance. Isn’t that why you married me?

13. You love to be pampered. All of us do. I agree. But you need to grow up, okay?

14. You don’t know you are a typical man who hates to ask someone for directions to a place

15. You are good at identifying and motivating good talent

16. You fear failure (again, all of us do) – but it doesn’t stop you

17. You are an absolute lazy bum

18. You regret losing your reading and quizzing habit – but don’t do anything about it

19. You still worship Maradona

20. You mean it when you say you don’t care what others think

21. You hate it when you are bound – even by your own promise. That’s why you don’t promise anything at all.

22. You don’t like clearing up any mess, more so if you created it

23. You are such a gadget freak. I am thankful that your fetish for mobile phones has slowly died down. I dread the day it shows its ugly face again.

24. You are penny wise and pound foolish

25. You hate to be sick – even before anti-biotic drugs start acting on your body, you would’ve already started your own mental fight against them bacteria. Amazes me.

26. Pet lover

27. A patient shopper, women would generally love – oh! But do you realize I usually have to stand all those long hours outside men’s trial room when you are trying out your nth pair of jeans for the day? Of course, you deserve a good deal, and the pregnant me so deserves a chair.

28. Okay – this is more like a quirk – because you are as tall as you are – you tend to sleep diagonally even in our six and a half feet by six feet huge bed. I am fat and I really need MORE space. Please, darling!

29. Tactful – and how! How can you be just my opposite!?!

30. I had to say this – you suck at Spanish! Learning sentences by heart won’t help you mister LOL

And I so love you :)

The Bucket List

2009-11-26T16:29:00.001+05:30

Tagged by The Print Lover

Who doesn’t have it in their list? – Travel the world. Yes, not just one place or country. The world – on all different possible modes of transport. That would be fun. Needs a lot of money, but there is no rule to a wish list, right? For now, I have a Passport. Thats all.

This one is going to be just me I think. I want to become a ‘subject matter expert’. This needs some explaining. Have you noticed the studs? The geeks? I was thought to be nerdy when I was in school and I had a tough time living up to the reputation and other people’s opinions of me. But I knew within myself that all I was doing was skimming the surface of my reading material or anything – and I just got lucky. I didn’t have to try or work hard. Now, what that has brought me to is, that I seem (to myself) to have a shallow knowledge about many things like art, politics, finance, cooking but no depth. I feel I thrive on mediocrity. I want to develop one area of interest where I can talk like an expert on the matter. I am not old yet and I believe I have a lot of time, but I want to be there. A place where people around me feel that I know the ‘subject’ in and out. I can answer all their questions – solve it for them. What I don’t yet know myself is what ‘that’ subject is.

Just. Stop. Being. Lazy – and some people will hopefully comment on how I have changed. I have no idea who those people will be. But they will speak well of my metamorphosis. I will then strike this off my list.

Turn heads at least in my thirties – I have always been this ‘gundu/ motu/ fatso’ girl so bleddy far in my life. My husband and I were really good buddies before things took a turn. So looks were not the first things we liked in each other foremost. After Aditi, I put on so much of weight that I morphed from a fat lady to an obese one. Thanks to a friend, who also was out of pregnancy then and who was more physique conscious, I started going to the gym and exercising with her. I lost a good amount of weight to start fitting into L sizes (you have no idea how big an achievement it is for me)! Now, I guess Sri was so attracted – he knocked me up, again! LOL. If all is well, I want to get back to working on myself again – I have 3 more years to officially turn thirty (I am so young and I have to rub it in). This time around, I want to look really slim and glam. Sigh!

Will I be able to learn to swim now? Okay, at least after I turn glam, I will have some confidence to change into a swimwear and learn this life skill. I really have to learn this.

Get drunk. Smashed. I have only gotten to the point of just slightly tipsy – so damn slightly that I remember what I said or did to not reveal my state. I want to break that jinx (I just need to have another drink) and spill a lot of beans. Or just sing with Sri. That will be amazing.

Read non-fiction. Actually just get back to reading. If possible turn into a voracious reader that I’ve always aspired to be. I don’t know why I haven’t had it in me to appreciate non-fiction. I just want to give it a shot and see if I really know why I like or dislike them. I think I have formed this 'non-fiction is not for me' opinion, without giving the genre any chance. However, I still have this big no for self help books. I may never change my opinion on that.

Take baking classes and be a star ‘baker’ in the family. Even if I just take classes also, I will be the only star baker in my family as of now. The others are only learning the art now. I am a slightly advanced learner. LOL. I have had an eye on this place for a long time now (over 2.5 years). I would like to be baking like her.

I want to make my own vadAm and just not stop at only appreciating age old skills of making crisps (vadAm) at home. There are so many more traditional and contemporary dishes which I have to learn, some from my grandma, ma, and some from my mother-in-law. My sis-in-law swears by Mallika Badrinath. Maybe I can check her recipes out too. I am a foodie and I read somewhere that only a foodie can also cook well. So far I’ve pleased a good bunch ( 2 or 3 is a good bunch) with my culinary skills. I want to do better. I want to learn to manage time well enough to host a party with everything cooked by me. To me, the best appreciation will come when my kids bring friends home and all their friends polish off the food/snacks I prepare. I’d love to implement new ideas and also love praises. No, I am not going to make this a good enough subject for point no.2. I may change my mind later if I fear that I am getting really old but am nowhere close enough to even identifying any ‘subject matter’.

Dance. Freak out. Again this is possible, IMO, only after I turn glam. Turning slim is not a criterion, because I have the enthusiasm I need to get dancing. But I don’t want to dance in a traditional outfit. I have a feeling http://www.highheelconfidential.com/ has spoilt me rotten. It’s gotten me thinking that a) I can get glam if I want – some fat women dare to dress the way they do and b) I may someday afford the Choos and Birkins. A BIG Sigh here! Getting back to the dancing thingy – my husband and I thought we’ll go learn Salsa, after Aditi turned two. Because we thought we were stuck in a rut. Sri opined that to enjoy the music, we should also appreciate the language. No regrets – we enrolled for Spanish classes and had a great time learning together – interspersed with some steamy moments, of course. Spanish + together – you should make the connection. Then we applied the brakes. We wanted some free weekends in between before we joined dance classes. What we do with the free time? Major fun – the result of which is for all to see in March 2010. This is one vicious cycle. You have moments of fun and there is this stuck again in the rut feeling.

I have to thank TPL immensely. I had some good fun doing this tag. So here it is – my official bucket list. All of the above are only for ME. I wanted this to be my bucket list – one I really wanted to prepare after I saw the movie. I am not doing anything with anybody or for anybody. I would die alone, for all you know. And the other person does the stuff without me anyway. So, everyone makes his/her own list and if we happen to do something together, we can strike it off together too.

This is a tag, I am guessing, am doing really late and all of the guys I know have done it already. So I tag Sri (hubby), Nithya (sister) and Souji (friend). I don’t know if they will take it up, though. But I love the way all of them write, so I hope they do.

Drumroll

2009-11-23T22:49:00.000+05:30

Here, here!

Its my Happy Budday tomorrow

Wish me now, won't you?

Not play time yet

2009-11-11T10:48:00.003+05:30

So far Aditi has been very considerate about the other baby in mama's tummy. She keeps asking whens, hows, wheres and whats about the baby.

Last night, she declared to me "I not give baby my toys". I asked her why and she didnt answer but just repeated her statement. So I said I will buy you both toys and that you have to play with each other. She said "No mamma, I not give". I said "Okay, let the baby come out, ask you for toys and then let us decide". She seemed comfortable with that and left it there.

How am I supposed to handle this? She is okay to share only a select few toys of hers with other kids. I keep insisting that if she wants others' toys, she should share hers first. Maybe she's too young (3 years is not old enough, no?). I am going to just let her be for now.

No, I am not a Grammar Nazi

2009-11-04T14:17:00.002+05:30

Far from it, in fact! I feel my English and vocabulary went to the dogs some time when I left school and have stayed there ever since.

But, that shouldnt stop me from hating

the usage of "n number of times" - Guys, its "n times" - remember the Maths equations we solved with n as a number by itself?
loose in place of lose - nuff said
Off course for 'Of course!' - what are you thinking? Just because we stress the 'of' while we talk does not give it an extra F, puhleez

These seem to be the first ones that come to my mind now. If I decide to keep updating this, I think this will be one post updated most times. I just may not stop updating it.

While on this topic, I would like to throw open a question - aren't we Indians very judgemental about a person, the yardstick of measurement being his/her capability or otherwise to speak proper English? Snobs, huh!

Happy Anniversary

2009-11-04T14:16:00.000+05:30

Wish you a very happy wedding anniversary, appa amma :)

All set to fly away eh!

2009-11-03T11:04:00.001+05:30

There is this new Tam – Gujju family that has moved in to the apartment below ours and they have a son who is a year older than Aditi. You know, where this post is heading already, don’t you?

The boy, Preet has become this great pal of Aditi’s and she really loves spending time with him – either at our place or at his.

So, this guy comes home last evening and plays with her and after sometime tells me that he wants to go home. So, I offer to escort him downstairs. He says no he doesn’t want me, he will take Aditi instead.

I tell Preet’s mom that I will pick my kid up in 15-20 minutes and let them go. As promised, I go back to pick her up – and succeed after a lot of tantrums and hue and cry.

My progeny comes home sulking and in a fit of rage she shouts “NO, NO, enakku indha veetla irukka vendaam. Enakku Preet kooda avan veetla dhaan irukkanum” (meaning - I don’t want to be in this house. I want to be with Preet in his house)

I need to get ready, I guess!

Strange Inferences – II

2009-11-02T12:28:00.001+05:30

Disclaimer – Not intended to hurt anyone
See Strange Inferences – I here.

Now, where have we heard this ’72 virgins waiting for you’ phrase? Okay you can all Google it. I am not revealing more. But my idea is that – I am sure no God is as resourceful to provide 72 for everyone just for one act worthy of heaven. Ahem, and my other idea is that – dude, after you are dead and gone, its only your soul there – what use will that be to the 72 virgins.

Final question – what if the 72 are destined to stay that way! Man, don’t do something to get there fast – God definitely has some hidden agenda in this plan and your heaven is going to be as good as hell.

Something I realized

2009-10-26T10:16:00.001+05:30

I never really touched the iPod in the last year it has graced our household. My sister gave it to Sri and from the first day it has been his. I like music but I used to drive down and listen to FM in our car and Sri got to rough the city traffic with his bike and iPod was a welcome companion. The guy even took some Spanish lessons in it, when I thought we were working on it together! Cheater!

Even after our roles reversed and I had to take the company shuttle as driving or car-pooling wasn’t a great option (more so when I am pregnant), Sri even offered the iPod, but I turned it down as I dozed off in the shuttle and didn’t quite feel the necessity. After the long time of neglecting the iPod I put on the music for the first time last night. The entire stuff was Sri’s – his music, his Spanish lessons. And that’s what I got a glimpse of. A bit more of Sri – something which I knew existed, I loved but had ignored long enough to admit and appreciate. I wondered where I had missed seeing the big picture and started looking at only the daily mundane things like… put this here, do something this way, put that there – why won’t you ever listen, grow up – you get the drift. I mean, I see so many other blogs and I know the same things happen between many couples. The wife appears to be the one nagging. As I sat there listening to the music, the fights we’ve had flashed across – I’ve and still fight for some ‘more’ time with him, fight against the priority his guy friends get on many occasions, silly fights, ego blasts – what not. I look like a (lovesick?) bitch when I say I can’t get enough of him, but sometimes just don’t want him around at all so I can get some sanity.

The music was a lot like the Sri I knew before we married. There was ‘Lajjavathiye’ , followed by ‘Aaj jaane ki zid na karo’ and then came a lot of Ilaiyaraja numbers – for the true Tam he is – and there were some of my favorites too. I remembered GILU – the music collection he had created for us to waltz around. It was like reading a page of Sri all over again. I rolled over and saw him sleep peacefully with my daughter’s cute little arms around his neck. Much of this guy was still the same. And he was still the romantic and I was still not-so-there. But I love him – for what he was and what he is. For all that he dares to do and has done. I presume he knows this. Just so he knows, all over again. Sri, I love you.

Aditi would say, I love you, kanna!

Happy Diwali

2009-10-15T11:42:00.003+05:30

Festivals in the second half of the year also usher in a whole lot of birthdays and anniversaries at our household. Come July, we begin planning for gifts or shopping for us and rest of the family.

A week after Diwali is our wedding anniversary, a week later followed by my parents' anniversary, my s-i-l's anniversary, and a couple of weeks breather and bang! my birthday, then some religious festival, my m-i-l's birthday and before we know its end of the year. Christmas Eve is my daughter's b'day just days ahead of my husband's b'day and then we step into the New Year.

My second one on the way should give us some good respite between the New Year and March. But then that's almost the time when there are two other birthdays in the household :)

Life is good, with some madness of course. Some one from above there should just say "Thathasthu" (So be it)

Wish you all - A VERY HAPPY & SAFE DEEPAVALI

Me

2009-09-08T10:51:00.002+05:30

When I see some contacts of mine in the Office messenger with a 'Do not disturb' status on them, I have this strange urge to ping them and just ask "Why?"

Is it just me?

Job loss? Recession? I did what best I could do...

2009-09-01T12:25:00.002+05:30

....I created a job for myself............

I procreated....and the fruit (confirmed - there is just one in there!) of my labour, I hope *fingers crossed*, is due for arrival at the end of March or early April 2010.

I am going to become a mom, all over again :)

The routine weekend trip…..

2009-07-15T10:20:00.001+05:30

It is Wednesday already!

In my current job, unlike my previous one to which I used to drive to, I take the company shuttle. What it translates to, is that I get to relax and watch the people, shops, signs and boards. I do not have to concentrate on my drive, my car, the road, the traffic, signals, police, autos, two-wheelers and pedestrians.

When I am sign and shop watching, I mentally note down the stores that have a sale on, those which have something interesting on display, some place that I want to dine in, some salon which has opened up, some new boutiques that have sprung up and yeah, you get the idea. I also wonder if the family store that I saw would have stocked up XLs or of I would be able to fit in their Ls, because they are an international brand….I actually think so much more. I have this new found time to think, to dream and to imagine so many things. When I am home, I tell Sri what the coming weekend we would have to do, our chores left undone, bills to be paid and other ‘duties’ and also add to the list these new stores, places that I want to go to. Of course, we will do them all, he says.

I have been in this job for about 3 months now, and the last one month has been the lesser hectic month of them all - which is four weekends. Most Wednesdays I’d mentally chart out a plan and by Friday morning, we have it ready – our ‘to do’ list for the weekend. And all these weekends none of them have happened….yes, n.o.n.e.

Not without a reason though, I have to admit. One weekend, I was unwell and we also had guests at home. We had our daughter’s vaccination to do. We had to visit a new member in our family, a cute little baby girl in our cousins’ family. Weekend well spent, it was. The next weekend, my husband was unwell, so bad a diarrhea, poor guy. Couple that with my maid’s sudden absence from office – my in-laws and I had so much work to do, that I wished we never had some weekend like that at all, ever. Another weekend, we had so overworked ourselves during the week, that we spent most of the weekend just sleeping through. But I wouldn’t complain, because I was much happy and satisfied with my kitchen stint. Good food and good sleep was all that seemed to matter then. Last weekend, my parents came down from Chennai, while my in-laws left for Coimbatore. My dad is just recovering from his by-pass surgery and has come down to our place for a much needed change and of course, the prime attraction being the time he could spend with Aditi. Saturday was sad, as the old man was tired from the journey, but Sunday we had some good time, showed my mother around the locality and all.

When we were doing beginner’s Spanish, we would crib on some weekends that the classes were taking all our time with none left for some indulgence and all. We’d imagined that with the classes out of the way, we would be able to spend some more quality time with each other and Aditi. Now, we find that we are nowhere close to achieving what we thought we could. We are lazy bums. But there have been some amazing weekends. Our plan, albeit minimalistic, would have been all done.

Here I am, on another Wednesday already. I have begun charting out lists in my mind – like I could never stop. I am like that. But lately, I am adding some prayers, and at the same time sighing, as if I already know what’s in store this weekend as well.

I had so much to say

2009-07-08T10:39:00.000+05:30

Harder as I may try, I am not getting enough time to blog….or is it enough dough? Bit of both actually. But I have been reading blogs, discovering new ones and all that. The thing with me is that I am not creative enough like many out there to make an interesting post out of mundane daily things. Not that anyone wants me to, but I feel what I write should be interesting to me at least. Don’t you agree?

I have also vowed to myself that I will blog more regularly. This year so far has been pretty busy for me. Jan started off pretty decently and the going was good until mid-Feb. That was when I was told that I may no longer be required in my then company and that all they have is a temporary one month project for me and they will take a fresh look at things after one month. I was over three years old in the company, settled in the system and was not looking to move elsewhere either. That shook me and my family up a bit. And what followed was a maniacal job search – I was ready to take up something, anything, interested, uninterested – it was like I didn’t have the power to choose. That was the time we realized how much our home loan weighed on us. If it weren’t for that I needn’t have scurried that way desperate to land myself a job. And I did find a job to my liking as well in about three weeks at no hikes that usually come with jumps. I mean, I knew I was desperate and they knew it too. For now, it doesn’t bother me. I am happy to be under the same roof which we have bought for us.

So, by then we were in mid-March when I got a job, in which I had to join by mid-April. My ex-boss (the new one for the temp project) made a huge fuss about letting me go easily. Having given me a no-guarantee chit for my stay there, I had a great deal of difficulties in getting away. While I hate to admit it, I broke down at a meeting with my boss (I know, I am embarrassed to bits now!), but such was my mental state then.

End of April, I got to know that my dad has to get operated for multiple blocks in his heart, then mid-May to end of the month was hectic with all that. I had gotten away to Chennai without my daughter for about 10 days and returned to find her down with fever. The entire family –my husband (Sri), my daughter (Aditi), my in-laws were all down with viral attacks, one after the other. I got it last. Aditi had run fever at 103 and I was there in Chennai crying and praying for her. My tense mom wanted me to get back right away, but thanks to my sister-in-law and Sri, I managed to stay back to take care of my dad in the hospital. Dad is fine now.

My daughter started school even with fever, for she had wanted to for as long as the entire last year. Our neighbor’s daughters go to the same school by bus, even if the school is just 10 minutes away. Aditi had longed to go by bus to school. She is doing well - learning new stuff; picking up vocabulary like mad, that I wonder how kids’ minds absorb things so fast; brining home friends to play. She is, in her own words – ‘a big girl’ now.

Here it is, July – more than half of 2009 is also done. I had wanted to blog like crazy. Things at home swung like the Indian Sensex, but all is well. I hope and pray that even if nothing gets better, nothing for no one should get worse – for the rest of 2009.

Trust thy student...

2009-05-11T11:48:00.003+05:30

In my Spanish class .....yeah, how else will you know about it?! My husband and I are taking up classes just to drive out some boredom of our otherwise mundane weekend...and we are almost through our beginner's classes.

Our teacher has begun another beginners' crash course and our class timings have been moved an hour to accomodate that. Out of sheer habit, though we remembered our timings, we reached the class earlier than our scheduled time.

Now people who know Spanish, know the 29 alphabets the language has. The 'las' and 'los' of the language, why no object has a gender but only the word does. Why you may ask. But why do you ask why? Thats exactly what one bugger was doing in the class. He was questioning why the language was like this, why did it evolve like this at all?

Now the teacher told him that she did not form the language, nor does she governs the rules of grammar or the sounds of letters and combinations. She teaches them, as they are. Fair enough you'd think.

Our smart ass tells the class then...."in some ten to fifteen years, even these rules are going to change. Trust me"

WTF? Trust you that the basic rules of a language that has stood the test of time and evolved with new words and such from the Middle Ages accomodates your views in some years?

Why does anyone want to learn a language at all? Why do you expect the language to accomodate you? Is it so difficult for a 20-30 year old guy to 'learn' or be 'open to learn'? I seriously want to shove something down his throat.

He thinks.....

2009-02-27T10:46:00.001+05:30

....he is

a despot

in reality though, he is

a 'gas'pot......

My first tag, ever

2009-02-25T14:52:00.006+05:30

I have been tagged by Shilpa to do this picture tag.

First, the rules of this do:

Pick the 6th picture of your 6th photo folder.
Tell a story around it.
Pass it on to six other people you like.

Well, I don’t have folders in my picture album at all. Yes, I am that organized and I don’t call the computer we have at home, ‘mine’. My husband and father-in-law exercise complete rights over the piece. So, of whatever I have on my comp at the office, I am trying to string in a couple of them together and make a story.

I am going to post about the Varalakshmi Nombu at my place. It is called ‘Varamahalakshmi’ here in Bangalore, Karnataka. My in-laws do not observe this function, mostly because they are from Palakkad, Kerala. We celebrate this at my parents place even as we are basically Tamils (guess many sects of Tambrams do). So a year after we got married, I asked my m-i-l if I could take this up in our home. Of course, she said. And this function apparently requires a lot of preparation, commitment and devotion. You just are not allowed to skip a year in between for whatever reasons. The fast as well as the festivities are observed in the coming week or at some one else’s place who celebrates the same.

The first year of this puja, my parents and sister came down from Chennai and it was so much fun, donning the nine yards saree and chanting the mantras and all. The last year, in 2008, I had arranged for a purohit to come home to help me perform the puja and because my in-laws do not have an idea what to do, I had to get all instructions from my mom and do all the prep here myself. My father-in-law came out shopping with me for fruits and flowers and my mother-in-law fully did all the bakshanam (prasadam and other eats). I just helped her in parts and left the scene as the purohit came home. I love this function for some unknown reason, perhaps it’s the aura in the house, the smells of so many flowers, the ‘bagyada lakshmi baramma’ song, the mantras, the sense of satisfaction – something or all of it…..I love it.

I am otherwise not a religious person, but there are some rituals, functions and festivals that we follow that I feel binds us together and I love the feeling that I have Aditi as a witness to all that I do, she understands bits and pieces of it, wears the ‘pattu pavadai’ (silk skirt and blouse) and all of us at home prepare for it – so much peace.

And that is all I want!

Btw, I don't know whom to tag, so please feel free to take this up if it interests you.

Will you be my Valentine?

2009-02-13T14:59:00.002+05:30

Ad on radio:

Random male voice says :Year 2007 – Chocolates
Girl says: Rahul! I am on a diet!

RMV: Year 2008 – Pendant
Girl says: Rahul! I hate it!

RMW: Year 2009 – iPod Nano 8GB
Girl says: Rahul! I love you!

Duh! Duh! and more Duh!

What is with this Rahul peeps? Someone please to stand up and fight for men’s rights. I am just being a ‘humanist’ here okay? My mental calculation (for anything more complicated, I need to use a calculator) says the guy had this girl as a Valentine in 2007, so he probably has dated her for sometime even before that and now that makes them an item for over 3 years now. Or even if they were married, I want to ask, isn’t he divorced yet?

The ads on FM radio are increasingly WTF-ish. I yearn for the good old days with AIR (Akaashavani) for those lovely sing-along jingles and Saroj Narayanswami. Sigh.

Record of sorts....

2009-02-11T14:30:00.002+05:30

Yaaay! (cheer first, will tell reason later - done clap clap for me?)

Yeah, now....I have never seen my 'comments' number cross 5.....including my replies, yes. And for the last post, yaaay, I have 8 comments to show......

Pretty childish you think? As if I care. I am so full of myself.....mez going to celebrate. Yippeee :)

How fair is that?

2009-01-20T14:49:00.001+05:30

When, in a narrow lane, I overtake a car which is, in my opinion, being driven so slowly that I could get down and walk up to the driver of that car and ask him to move it, I am being only fair to the rules of the road.

And, when I am enjoying the drive or I know I am going to reach my destination on time or earlier and am ‘aaram-se’ driving and someone honks and I refuse to budge just to annoy him/her further, it is my right as a fellow human to do so.

*****************************************************

When, in a narrow lane, I overtake a car and actually end up just ahead of it in a long line of cars in a traffic jam and the driver of the other smirks, I am right to exclaim (to myself),”so what, at least I am not behind the moron who badly needs driving lessons”

When, in a narrow lane, a car overtakes me and ends up just ahead of me in a long line of cars in a traffic jam, I am again right to exclaim (to myself, with a smirk),”now what loser, where have you ended up after speeding past me. You shouldn’t have done that you moron and you badly need driving lessons anyway”

*****************************************************
When searching for a parking lot in Manipal Hospital, if a car-driver guides me to reverse my car out of a space and goes beep*beep*beep thinking I am going to ram into the nearby car, I am right in explaining (professing?) to him that I have judged the space correctly and he need not think lady drivers can’t drive properly.

When another lady driver in a narrow lane tries to overtake me in a not-so-blind curve, but comes face to face with a tempo traveler, in turn having to reverse her car to let the other vehicle pass, I am right in snickering and saying “Serves you right, lady!” and I am only more right when I follow that up with a prayer “God, please teach these women how to drive”.

*****************************************************

But I think I am being fair enough!

I plead guilty

2009-01-07T11:04:00.001+05:30

I forgot my New Year Resolution. Yes, I did.

There was just one thing I wanted to do this year and I forgot what it was. I don’t have the ‘resolution-taking’ habit. They don’t motivate me. I have never done the New Year Resolution thing in my life yet. Perhaps, every time some one asks me what I resolved to do that year, it must’ve felt good to say “nothing”. The first thing I do after I set the resolutions is to break them.

After reading a lot of to-do lists in blogs, I thought maybe I have a list after-all, nothing particularly to complete in this year, but something like “to-do before you turn xx”. But I am too lazy for that. So, I gave that a pass and just continued reading more lists, the best I can do to get ideas. And then, it came to me - in a flash. That something I thought was not in the lists of many, maybe because, the list-makers have all done it, or just because it wasn’t worth any mention anyway. But I hadn’t thought about it till then and the idea of doing it excited me. It wasn’t a trek or a hitch-hike trip or any such random thing. It was something very objective and the minute it crossed my mind, I knew it could be my ‘resolution’ for the year and that it is also do-able. My bad, I didn’t note it down on paper. I actually thought about writing it down, but thought to myself that it was so not on the other peoples’ lists and I can just not forget it just for the uniqueness of it. And, see here I am after resolving to do something this year, just about a couple of days back and wondering what it actually was.

I have thought out almost all options (learning salsa, baking more, losing more weight, which couldn’t have been an exciting option, a good holiday, bungee jumping, hhmmph) in my mind and nothing is as exciting as the idea that flashed across that day! Sadly, I don’t even know what it type/genre of activity it was. Laugh at me.

And dear people, this is my 5oth post in this blog, yaaay!

Diced, cubed, shredded, sliced…..

2008-12-31T13:28:00.001+05:30

I don’t know whether I am foodie but I’d like to think that of me. What could possibly make a foodie, a foodie? Love for food? That I have in truckloads. So, I qualify. And I also like to cook. Sometime back the ‘like to cook’ was almost ‘love to cook’ and the demotion in status is due to failed attempts of mine to bake (cooking, baking all same, ok?) a perfect and soft eggless chocolate cake for a relative’s birthday. A small cake and I couldn’t get it right. The cake got a little chewy and I had to heat it every time I cut a slice to eat because, the hotter cake was simply, more edible. Now I shudder at the thought of having to bake, but I know I am just addicted to getting it right someday. I have learned that I should just not follow multiple recipes and tweak it for my needs, without even knowing whether the original worked for me or not! Bah!

On recipes that I find online – I am sure most of us would’ve noticed the layout in which the cook/chef has detailed the procedure – first a brief of what the ‘dish’ is all about, then the ingredients, time estimate and then the procedure, with or without pictures. In the ingredients, there are measures for each of them and we can see the words cut, finely chopped, cubed, diced, shredded, roasted, ground, juiced, extracted, half-cooked, al-dente etc very generously used. Now this is where I have a problem!

The preparation time set out in the recipe just does not involve the time taken for one to cut or finely chop or cube or shred or roast (you get the idea) the particular ingredient. Take diced carrots, for example – for a slow person like me, peeling, washing and dicing (ok, for my defense I will also mention that I like to be a perfectionist and so no bad pieces, for which I also run a quality check), say 2 carrots takes at least 5 minutes. But the recipe says that after your ingredients take (are made to?) the shape necessary for the ‘dish’, the dish could be turned out in, say 20 minutes. Is this fair to assume that all the ingredients are readily available in the shape the recipe calls for? What if some flour has to be dry roasted for some time? These are the things that anger me. I want an approximate time for getting these prepared too…I don’t want to be fooled into an ‘easy and quick to make’ recipe, which required loads of time for preparation. As a matter of fact, some recipes do mention a ‘preparation time’ and then ‘cooking time’, but the ‘preparation time’ is so unrealistic. Only a trained chef or a robot can do that, I say!

People who think what I am talking about is too trivial, try walking by some recipes when you are having friends over for dinner at short notice or something. You will find yourself in your dirty apron still in the kitchen when they are at your door. So, I’ve decided to mentally add all the time to a recipe if I ever try anyone out again. And, yeah, the mouthwatering cumin cookies and almond drops are so inviting…..gosh…I might need to get to baking again.

Cookies, here I come!

Thank you Sri, friends and all anonymouses for stopping by this blog this year. Wish you all a Happy New Year! May you have a wonderful 2009!

Happy Birthday

2008-12-24T10:33:00.001+05:30

Happy 2nd Birthday kannamma....Have a great year and a lovely day :)

Love you so much.....
Amma

I must be getting old

2008-12-23T15:18:00.000+05:30

I was on a random nostalgic trip today and I visited my first blog. There, I have a three-post series on my holiday in Munnar in 2005. I had in fact, signed off the last post of the series in haste saying that I am not going to do more travelogues unless I actually have the time to write them down beforehand.

Surprisingly someone has read that series of mine and commented that my write-up was not even near a ‘travelogue’ and followed that with some more trashing of my writing, anonymously. Now, even I know what I wrote was not a travelogue, but just my experiences on the way to and from the hill-station. And in some vague moment I had finished off my post with that word, for want of a better word. That was then. I read through my posts and I see clearly that I never had intentions of delving into details on how to get there, what to eat, what to expect, wallet factor and other such details. I had also mentioned about the longish route we had to take from Madurai via Thekkady and too much of dense vegetation and the like. I remember the entire drive during the day appeared like a drive in the night. And for me the 7-8 hour cold and hungry drive (reasons explained therein) only gave me a headache.

Reading that comment now, I am irked that someone ‘anonymously’ lashed out at me. Why did he/she want to assume that I wanted to see ‘bikini-clad’ women in a hill-station? How out of mind should he/she have been to assume this when all I said was about the boring drive? And frankly yes, there are not as many ‘spots’ in Munnar like there are in Kodaikkanal or even Ooty. So what, I had felt the hill-station lacking. If the reader had to disagree with me, there certainly was a better way, I am sure. The comment was pretty condescending. Having abandoned that blog, thankfully I got to see that comment only today. I could have felt really bad had I seen that then. I don’t know why, but I know I would’ve felt bad.

Actually, I had meant to write about my ‘then’ writing style myself when I noticed this comment and I have technically replied to it here! Well, I notice that when I had started to blog, every was written ‘evry’ didn’t was written ‘dint’, something became ‘sumthin’ etc. I don’t know when the transition from the broken English to‘better’ English happened. When I read my previous entries, I am not particularly proud of my sentence construction or usage of the shortened words. My bad and illogical flow of thoughts could have been because I never edited my posts and I don’t do them now either, but I know I am much better now.

I have written about random things in the spaces that I’ve put up here. I think the broken beginnings are worth it. Though I still have a long way to go, I have traveled some distance and it feels good to think about that, and bury the bad.

Hullo…..

2008-12-22T15:05:00.002+05:30

I am fat (bordering on obese!) and I have begun to workout to stay this way or simply put, not to get any fatter. And my twice or thrice a week sessions are sometimes eventful.

Last week, when I was at the gym in our office, a couple of loud mouthed idiots walked into the place. One of them was a mini-celebrity of sorts. He is part of the company band and has actually started worshipping himself, I guess. He is so full of himself and at most times uses his company-wide recognition to happily flirt around with a good section of his ‘fans’ and some equally stupid and pretty girls. Yeah, I have a problem with people who don’t know the word ‘humility’ and I don’t like to see show-offs. I cannot stand people who are beautiful and know they have-it-all, behave like….what else, have-it-alls. I have (happened to?) hear(d) all about this scumbag from a couple of other gym-mates at the ladies locker room. The other 2 ladies, oblivious of my presence or maybe assuming I am definitely not a Tamil, bitched about that guy in Tamil. And I can tell you, it was really entertaining. But see, a ladies’ locker room discussion should remain a secret, particularly so if it involves so many un-parliamentary words! *devilish grin*

Well, he walked into the gym dressed in shorts and a tight sleeveless whatever-it-was-that-looked-like-a-woman’s-undergarment. He is a short and a not so well built guy and this made him look funny (read eeeks so gay). The other guy didn’t look this bad, but was equally loud mouthed. These guys start warming up – keep yakking and its heard all above the sound of some rocking music. And unfortunately for me one other guy then wishes to hear ‘lounge’ music in the gym! I wanted to runaway from there, but I have this strict gym instructor who keeps reminding me of the great shape I am in. I gritted my teeth and continued as they talked non-stop when they were on the tread mill, when they did their push-ups and thankfully I was done and when I was about to leave, I heard one shout to the other doing the abdomen-crunches, “hang in there, hang in there”. It may not sound weird now, but then behind the closed doors of the gym and some lounge background music, you get the idea, it was ahem….

Blind, totally

2008-12-09T14:15:00.002+05:30

An old friend of mine got married sometime back and I knew the guy she married but I didn’t know that they were going around. The shocking thing was, when I mentioned this to another friend of mine, she was surprised I didn’t know. I was probably the only one in the group who hadn’t seen this coming or even known when this was happening. You must’ve looked at the expression on my friend’s face when she asked me “you didn’t know they were a couple?”….I don’t ask her who’s-doing-what questions these days.

I miss things even if they are right under my nose, or is it only because they are where they are?! But seriously, it feels like Phoebe who feels that she is always the last one to know.

Dilbert's gone

2008-11-25T16:31:00.002+05:30

I am removing the 'Dilbert' widget I had put up here - a lot of problems it caused when I opened my blog everytime....something in Adobe Flash malfunctioned. I am no techie and I just dont know what went wrong.

Its up there in one of my earlier, posts - but thats going to be a pain to look that up, everytime I want to read Dilbert. It used to be fun, to read Dilbert at you space - but like I said, too many problems - the IE closed down everytime I opened my blog and made it difficult for me to follow my own blog - thats punishement, I say!

I had liked the widget, though. So long, Dilbert.

The ‘draft’ thing

2008-11-19T16:41:00.000+05:30

In most blogs I read, I come across this line – ‘I have a lot of drafts saved up and I will post them one after the other ….’ I mean I just don’t get that many ideas to keep my space up, one thing. Another, I don’t take my blogging so seriously. But today, even I get the opportunity to say that – not because blogging has grown seriously into me, but actually because I have a couple of posts I have ideas for and have outlined them in a word document.

Earlier, I used to log into Blogger when an idea struck me and posted about it live on my blog, never bothered to spell check, read through again, edit it and ‘present’ it. It was really push-button publishing for me. I pressed ‘Enter’ and my blog was updated with a post. Then I had no readership, and so not now too! But I am reading a lot of blogs, see the importance the bloggers attach to their writing and I don’t see why I shouldn’t maintain my space as neatly even if I am not read. My point is, I should read it years later and be able to see coherence in my thoughts.

So all ya people, I have some drafts waiting to be published and all you out there, better get ready to read it up.

Just that one?

2008-11-04T11:21:00.000+05:30

I wrote just one post in the entire month of October!!! Pathetic....

*hehe.....even if dont write again in November, my post count is already two* *muwahahaha*

Wish you

2008-11-04T11:17:00.000+05:30

...a happy wedding anniversary appa and amma.

Madame sno*b

2008-10-06T14:13:00.000+05:30

One of my colleagues at office is a big-time snob who mixes with the middle-class me only because I, being the noble soul that I am, refuse to refuse her a lift back home.

The person I am talking about, say madam K, lives just about 50-100 yards from the place I live in, but across the road. We got acquainted when I used to take the company bus to office during my initial months at work. Well, that worked well only till I got pregnant and I felt sick to even get up in the mornings to catch my 7.15 bus. I decided that I couldn’t do that and started driving down to work. I still do that because I am just used to it – Aditi turns 2 this December, which means I’ve been driving to work for over 2½ years now. I am just lazy to start getting up again at 6 – 6.30 to catch my bus. Also, I don’t know the drop point nearest to my new residence and I conveniently avoid the hassle!

I digress. Madam K has this great power of intuition to catch me a few minutes before I am set to leave for the day, everyday, or at least on all those days when she wants a lift. How she figures out that I am going to be around or am leaving then are all a mystery to me. What is wrong in dropping her back as the car would anyway be empty otherwise, you may ask? Yeah? That’s the risk considering you get to only listen to her all snobbish stories. Thank you. I do not wish to go through that torture again.

In my initial trimester I hadn’t told people in office about my state and was hush-hush. Madam K also didn’t know. One day on the way back, she told me that “I don’t think you want to start family now. You should be married for at least 4 or 5 years like we were, before we had D”. As if deciding for me was not worse, she added, “That is the only good way so you can have fun, you know”. I thought she would’ve fainted had I told her that I was already ‘there’. :P

Then there were this apartment hunting discussions during one of which, she offered to sell us one of her three apartments, because it would free up cash for the third (under construction) duplex penthouse. And, the reason for buying the penthouse was that her in-laws stay in the ground floor and she could peacefully stay in the top floor and enjoy some privacy. I somehow think she would make a bad mother-in-law. Why, I am almost sure!

One day, I asked her casually (actually casually) why she did not learn to drive. She joked that her husband freaks out when she starts the car and she had fought once on that issue and vowed never to drive again. I nodded, thinking that could not be a valid reason. After a minute of thought, maybe thinking whether to tell me or not, she said, “You know actually why I don’t want to learn to drive? That’s so I needn’t drive my parents-in-law around because they would start expecting me to drive them to places during weekends like their daughter does in the US. Tell me who can handle that?” I nodded again, so fast so that she didn’t catch me laughing. Oh yeah? That’s why some people don’t want to drive. To top it all, she wouldn’t want to engage chauffeurs because, then again, in-laws would use it for so many errands unnecessarily. But then she wants her in-laws around to take care of her son.

After shifting to our new house, I have not had a chance to bump into her as often, neither at office nor back in our old area, though I have been to our earlier place quite a few times. Once when I was damn hungry running an errand, my m-i-l called me to tell me that they were joining their friends for a visit to the nearby mandir and that I catch something to eat on the way back, to stay okay till dinner time. I stopped by my old area at a chat shop and was busy gobbling down a samosa. That’s when I met her again. She had to ask me why I was there and whether I come via that route everyday. Now, don’t you also get the intention of the question? I mean, she could see why I was there. I then informed here that I don’t frequent the route and I drive by whenever I am running an errand or just wished to drive that way.

Some people!

You know those types of friends you can’t bring home?

2008-09-25T16:33:00.000+05:30

mm....WHAT?

During a conversation with one of my colleagues, he said something on these lines and I was totally taken aback…..well, surprised. He said something like, “you know, we had to only meet outside of home (wife/spouse doesn’t know). We are friends but that’s the way it is, you know these things right?” No, I don’t. He is also a small town guy, but has had a much better exposure to the western world than I’ve ever had. I have never ventured out of India, as a matter of fact, never been to the northern and eastern parts of the country at all. But, I don’t think I have friends I cannot bring home or talk about at home. My parents knew all my friends, but for those one or two that don’t deserve any mention because we ourselves knew we wouldn’t last a week as friends and maybe we would never see each other again.

Agreed, this could be the issue with the way we could have been brought up, but don’t we form our own opinions when we get exposed to some new experiences. And, this is not with a guy-girl friendship alone, even where I do not subscribe to such a stupid idea that you ‘cannot’ bring them home. Why, because you become answerable to many questions on how you met, how come you became friends yada yada yada…again, how stupid is this?

When my colleague uttered such a thing….I wanted to ask him these things……..

Are there any such types of friends at all in the first place?

Are you ashamed of your own friends?

Are you actually friends or have something else going on but call it friendship?

Even writing about such a thing makes me feel very childish. I find myself asking, ‘Is this something that needs any mention at all?”. But many people out there are hypocrites. I realize this very late in life, maybe because I hadn’t met many like them before? I don’t feel comfortable calling that colleague of mine a friend now. I don’t want to. People like him are better left as colleagues or acquaintances, I think.

Aditi loves to sing…

2008-09-24T14:37:00.000+05:30

When daddy sings along with Abida Parveen…”bekhudi besabab”….Aditi says ‘papap’ and tunes into the song….

When Sun TV plays Ramayan with the title song “Jai Shree Ram….”, she starts off with “Jai…” and drags it to no end and that too ‘sur mein’

She knows to sing “Happ budday”….She sings it like happ budday, happ budday and ends it with Aditi. The tune is perfect.

She also croons (ahem….I am a mother, see?) like Shreya Ghoshal in the tamil song “munbe vaa”…..Aditi also knows a couple of lines in the charanam.

Oh! I just can’t stop bragging about my daughter’s ear for music.

Eating alone

2008-09-18T14:54:00.000+05:30

I don’t like to eat alone without a book. With a book in hand I don’t like to eat with anyone. Today was one day, when I had to lunch alone with no book in hand. I missed the book I had left behind at home. I wished it were here, to keep me company.

When you eat alone at a table, without a book, people actually look at you twice – once when they begin to notice that you are alone and are eating by yourself and later, after some time to see if you have had company (with a book, you suddenly graduate to be an intellectual or a well-read person). They most likely presume that you were waiting for someone and that person must’ve arrived by the time they look at you again. I would like to call this ‘humane’ concern. We are all social animals – just that one animal thinks, the other cannot live without company. Again people who have company give a sympathetic stare at you – ‘oh, poor lady, she is eating by herself’. The sympathy is at its peak, just when that person is a woman. Woman can never be alone, can they! The stares one after the other make you aware of yourself.

Once, my ex-boss was worried that I didn’t have someone to keep me company when I had newly joined the organization. He was probably worried that I don’t move around with people. He asked me whether I had not made friends with co-workers or whether they were not forthcoming enough. I said neither. They just felt hungry an hour after I started to hear noises from my stomach. He asked me to lunch with him in the initial days. I thought I couldn’t eat normally with him. I was always conscious of the way I was munching on food, whether I spilled anything etc. Not that I spill and gobble without any etiquette. Just that lunching with your boss day-in and day-out for me was a little out of normal, particularly when you think his’ is an act of kindness on you, if you know what I mean. In that way, I think eating all alone is just an experience in itself. You can munch with your mouth open for all you care, with food streaking down from the sides of your mouth and wipe it just milliseconds before they spill onto your dress. Manners are just not required.

All said I am happy that these days, women do not get as many sideward glances as they used to get before, when they eat out alone. I know that many women have done it for ages now, eating alone. But again, my viewpoint is of a person who has grown up in a small town, slowly graduating into the life of a big city. Bigger cities are yet to be seen and lived in.

Aaarrrrgggghhh......

2008-09-17T13:07:00.000+05:30

Shivraj Patil finds time to change his attire/suit thrice ..............

...............because he wet his þäñ†§...

Is there nothing else worthwhile to report about?

Mohammed Uncle - II

2008-09-16T14:14:00.000+05:30

Mohammed Uncle - first part here

My Mohd uncle is no more. He taught me to drive……and stood me when I started instructing him how to drive more efficiently. Some how I think he was the best with older cars like Ambassadors, Fiat (Premier Padmini) etc. As the new cars came by, he never adjusted his driving to suit them and I felt the cars were man-handled.

It was by chance, I spoke to him just a few days before he passed away. I was driving to work that morning it struck me all of a sudden that whatever I was able to do then, was all due to him. He had in ways helped me feel independent and grow up to be the woman I am. Both he and I have so many times taken pride in telling people that I learnt to drive a car without having an ‘L’ board on. I know its nothing great. But given that I grew up in a small town where not many girls drove cars, it appeared a feat in itself for us. My father spoke to him once a month. But somehow he had not called him that month and when I called, he was very happy. People at his household are surprised that I call him from Bangalore. They are accustomed to my dad’s calls, but don’t quite know why the ‘periya ponnu’ (the elder daughter) of the ‘SS sir’ calls. They don’t know the relationship I share with him. Mohd uncle was very happy to talk to me. I chided him for not making it to my daughter’s first birthday. We’d celebrated it with parties both in Bangalore and Coimbatore. I had come to know later that he had been admitted in the hospital during that time and that’s why he couldn’t make it. Still, I chided him for falling sick at the wrong time.

The name Mohd uncle brings back so many fond memories. How my father used to be so comfortable to leave us both (my sis and me) in his company. How much he trusted him. I don’t think he failed us, ever. We knew of the driving lessons he gave his kith and kin in our car, the frequent pick-ups and drops that happened. His friends he regularly called on, on his way back or to our school. These things, when I grew up to be aware, irritated me (us, rather). But, the other drivers were worse – they stole petrol, they lied, misused resources…..Somehow, even if we’d tried to console ourselves with such ideas, we knew he was the safest, the most loyal and the best guy of them all. He wouldn’t work elsewhere too. We slowly matured to overlook the petty issues that never meant anything to us, materially.

Mohd uncle was almost Tam-bram. My grand parents of both sides, who are very staunchly Tam-brams also loved him. He bought us sweets for Id and Ramzan. He reminded my dad about that month’s Amavasya, or other poojas or functions. He was my dad’s personal secretary, almost. He would’ve safely filed away in his memory, even a passing comment on a wedding-to-attend and bring that up, exactly at the right time. He never came late. Always on time, huffing and puffing on his bicycle. I now think how much we take our current employers for granted, in the name of working flexi-time. My dad has never had it and Mohd uncle never knew it. He had to rush us to school every day and he would never miss that for anything in the world. I remember the days when I used to get worked up when we used to be ready and he wouldn’t have come yet. I know we took him for granted – now I realize a driver like him would be very hard to come by.

Mohd uncle and I conversed in Hindi. That’s how my Hindi is conversation-standard. Otherwise who in Tamilnadu, in a small town like Coimbatore would’ve encouraged that. Besides, having studied in a Jain school, some friends also helped improve my language. Coimbatore as a city has a lot of Northie population (Marwari mostly) and many of them understand Hindi, though many do not speak fluently. Well, all said, my Hindi is still broken, though I manage myself quite well everywhere with this.

Mohd uncle was very protective of us. I remember the day when a friend of mine at the CA institute wanted to borrow some notes from me, spotted Mohd uncle near the premises and had asked him if he would pass on a note for me. Mohd uncle got suspicious – recall movie style love-letter instances – interrogated him and got him to write whatever he wanted to in a paper he produced. After Mohd uncle gave the note to me, he waited till I opened it, read it and translated it to him and he was sure that was true by looking at me closely (to find hints of a lie)!! He then had narrated the entire incident to my dad to be doubly sure of things. My dad had to assure him that it would’ve been a genuine note from a friend. My dad came back to tell me this and I was riled at being spied on, but had a good laugh and was moved by his concern. Then I knew, Mohd uncle religiously reported all our activities to dad, which enraged us as teens, but now it seems okay.

All this time, I have never said something to him. That he is special to me, to us and that we love him.

I have so much more to say about him, my Mohd uncle…..May his soul rest in peace.

What the 7ft guy taught us

2008-09-09T16:42:00.000+05:30

Aditi, Sri & I were traveling from Bangalore to Chennai. We had rowed over something and traveled the distance from home to the Cantonment railway station in silence. My parents-in-law had advised Sri to take care of the situation, not blow it up further (yeah, they knew all about it – things are always out in the open). We wouldn’t listen, would we?

We reached the station only to find out the train was going to be at least 4 hours late. Now, we had to spend that time – we caught ourselves some good seats at the waiting room – opposite each other. Not wantonly – they were the ones available. After a few glares, we stopped looking at each other.

Half an-hour later in came a family of three – a man, at least 7ft. tall, his wife – a stout lady with the most ill-fitting track pants and sweat shirt and an “I am dumb” sign painted all over her and their son, a baby of 12-15 months max, dressed in some nightwear, half his size, with diaper visibly soggy. I turned away from looking at them because, the sight of the boy made me want to go up to them, grab him and change his diapers. I constantly kept checking Aditi’s diapers throughout the time we were there.

I consciously decided not to make an appearance judgment on the family. Meanwhile, as there was no room for all the three to sit on the sofas in the waiting room, the tall guy sat down with his legs straightened out with the baby on his chest (trying to put the kid to sleep) and the lady asked another to move a little bit and squeezed herself there. Well, the son wouldn’t sleep – he was amused at having company. Aditi was excited to see him too. She tried to go near them, but they were not too forthcoming, they did not even let the kid go. Sleep time, was sleep time, I guess. There was another older kid that wanted to play with her and we just let them be. The other kid’s mother offered her biscuits and that clinched things for Aditi. She never turned to the younger boy after that.

In the ordeal of putting the son to sleep, successful after a long time, the tall guy dozed off too. The kid slipped from him on to the chilly floor, but remained asleep. As a reasonable woman, I expected the lady to relieve the husband of the kid and let them both sleep. This dimwit tried to wake the hubby up to tell him that the kid had slipped on to the floor – she called out to him, “Sri, Sri”. Sri and I looked at them and stared back at each other. The tall guy didn’t budge. She again called out to him in a louder voice. He woke up and glowered at her. She meekly (subservient, is the word), told him that the kid had fallen down from his lap and he was falling asleep. He scowled and mumbled something and she left things at that. He looked like he would have slapped her hard that minute but had chosen not to, for her own good. Sri & I looked at each other.

Aditi was causing trouble. She was at everyone’s luggage busy opening zippers and stuff. Sri was working away on his laptop but decided against it, when he saw what Aditi was up to. The other kids were both fast asleep, but this lady was all charged-up. He had to get up, cross over and take the kid. When he was at it, I told him, “You are lucky, you don’t have a wife like that”. Sri said, “….and you, a husband like that”.

These days when we fight we tell each other how lucky we are :P and almost end the fight instantaneously.

Making marriage work…..

2008-09-09T16:41:00.000+05:30

Well, three years may not be a long marriage, but my husband and I have fought like pigs all through this time to let the on-lookers (yeah, we shamelessly fight in front of everyone in the family), believe that we will most likely call it quits the next minute. Come to think of it, we probably would’ve gone over that thing in head once or twice and made up after sulking for some time. Most fights do not last the night but the handful of them that have extended to the next day have also been resolved with mutual reasoning.

I am surprised we are having to work this hard to make things work between us. We have known each other for quite some time now (7 years), almost know each other’s dark secrets from our days of being bestest friends et al. But when we became man and wife, I think a lot many things changed there. We took the friend in the other for granted, became run-of-the-mill couple. We ran out of things to discuss – I remember the days when we would have everything to talk under the sun, needed each other’s opinions, listened when the other spoke. I remember having once told Sri that I like that very quality in him – he listens. He does, probably even now, but nothing is enough for me. I always end up wanting more. I want more of his time – I could actually sit with a book for hours together – but I am willing to give that up for just an extra hour of being with him.

Now, that is an unhealthy sign because I am sacrificing my personal development and forcing Sri to forgo his as well. What development he is after, I don’t know. Most times it is his friends – hanging out with a mug of beer. I guess, I am psyched at the thought that I am not able to tag along, with Aditi at home and all. All excuses. I am plain jealous – I have admitted this to Sri and told him that I will only slowly get out of it and till then not do all outrageous outings without me. The problem is things crop up now and then, a friend is in town the weekend, a new client wants to discuss something over a mug of beer in the poshest of the pubs….things he can’t decline. Why would he? I act like this super-human when I tell him, “You do what you must”, heart-of-hearts wanting him to stay back and baby-sit Aditi as I would’ve had a long day at office too.

In the meanwhile, guilt eats me that I am not able to extend help to my exhausted parents-in-law, because Aditi has given them a hard day too. She is all charged up on seeing me home and I do not want to have late-nights during weekdays – which translates to additional responsibility for parents-in-law. I also love to cook, so I want dinner on me most days – my little to help my in-laws relax the evenings. I am torn.

What a rant!!! I feel so good after getting it out of my system.

Diary of Yarns – I

2008-09-04T16:10:00.000+05:30

My attempt at story-telling…………..

It was the day of her big interview. She knew she was the best candidate for the position and also knew that they would eventually find her the most cost effective. She was nervous nevertheless. Getting to become a Director of a company of her dreams was something. She had all the qualifications and experience to support her. She was educated at the ivy-league institutes and was never below cum-laude in her time. She was one of the hot candidates and got most job offers when she passed out. She had settled for a low-key company with a great promising profile. She skyrocketed to the top. She waited for that particular role in that dream company to happen. She stepped into the room. The panel was ready. It was going to happen.

The interview went on well. The panel was visibly pleased that at her age, she could achieve as much as she had. They could, as she had hoped, see that she was not money hungry as she was for a good profile. That suited them fine. After all, they were hiring her because they had to. Someone had made, gender diversity in executive management, mandatory, you know?!

English

2008-08-20T16:16:00.001+05:30

I like the word(s): Animal 'husband'ry

I do :)

What do you do when…..

2008-08-19T16:28:00.000+05:30

…….you see a bottle full of water lying unattended at your pantry?

Facts of the case:
- The pantry lies halfway from your work station and the rest rooms.
- It is usually a practice for people to fill their ‘personal’ bottles up, leave it on the big table to proceed to answer the nature’s call.

Now, I am sure that you know different people drink water from their bottles in different ways. There are people who crane their necks and drink water from a distance of over 12 inches. They probably are the pure-brahmins (some ancestors of my clan) who feel the ion-to-ion or molecule-to-molecule contact should not be made. There are also people who almost lick off the brim of the bottles. I am not here to pass judgments on people by the way they drink from their bottles.

For hygiene sake, I believe that for a group of people to drink from the same bottle, the saliva-touching drinking from the bottle (with most of its neck inside one’s mouth) is not okay.

And, this is what happened to me sometime back – I fill the bottle up and as is customary (!!!), proceed to the ladies’ room to answer the important call. I come back and find my bottle at the same damn place where I’d left it, but only half full. The person must’ve graphically plotted where my bottle lay before, before drinking from it and replacing it.

What I ask here is – how could that person conclude that this bottle is not taken? Or, how could he/she be sure that the ‘owner’ did not immerse the rim of the bottle in his/her mouth for drinking from it? Yuck! Would you drink from a bottle, when the water source (lazy bugger!) is just 3 feet away from you? I swore and almost ruined the person’s lineage in my mind, before condemning the bottle to a dustbin. Eeeks….I shudder to imagine how that ‘offender’ must have consumed water from my bottle!

Why such fuss? You may ask. I am freaky possessive about my belongings. That was MY water bottle. I won’t use yours; you please do NOT touch mine.

Strangely, I do not mind sharing food, eating with the same spoon in a group, so long as the food is not gooey, in that case, I am not interested in eating it at all, or I really nicely bond in the group (beshtu friends?!!).

Ah! Now I’ve stopped yawning.

Stop yawning

2008-08-19T16:01:00.000+05:30

What do you do to stop yawning?

Agreed, it could be purely the play of oxygen and carbon-dioxide inside you that is causing so much of it…but if it happens once an hour, maybe, it is fine. Now, I would like you to picture one lady (me) at the computer yawning every 2 minutes. I am just not able to stop yawning.

I have finished whatever I had to do, for the day. I have read those blogs that I usually read…most of the bloggers apparently have something else to keep themselves occupied and hence have not updated their spaces. I tried hitting the ‘Next blog’ button on Blogger, but it takes me to all those random blogs, in so very many different languages. I finally am bored of all things – I am yawning and I am not able to stop.

The only way I thought I could help myself is ask my readers (kitne aadmi hain? One, two?), how to.

‘Cinderella Man’ and related woes

2008-08-07T11:18:00.000+05:30

My husband and I watch a lot of movies. That is probably our important time together during the day.

On a normal day, Sri comes home at least two hours after I do. By the time, I am done with the dinner prep, some times, if I am badly hungry, I am also done with it. On weekdays, my parents-in-law have their regular TV shows running up until 10 to 10.15 in the night. Even if I am part of at least 2 to 3 of their weekly regulars, nothing interests me as much as spending time with Sri, does (obviously?).

So, it is after 10.15 that we usually explore the movies that are being played. Parents retire to bed; Aditi is off to sleep at 9.30 most days. So, we know we have the time totally to ourselves. After we installed Tata Sky at home, we’ve had the option of viewing what movies are playing at a particular time and a brief about them, which adds to our interest in viewing them. The movies that start late end at say, 12.30 or 1.00 in the night. So we end up hitting the bed at 12.30 or 1.00 or 1.30 almost all days.

Now you know what I am getting at?

Almost everyday, we get up only at around 7.30 or 8.00 in the mornings as we both sincerely believe that an average person needs a 7-7½ hour sleep. My daughter wakes up at about 7.15. So, keeping her occupied for another 15 minutes is not a problem. She is just so happy to see us both around when she gets up. And, I feel guilty (badly), when I walk in to the kitchen and see that most of my lunch and breakfast is done. My m-i-l asks me just one thing – what time was it yesterday? I look away – mumble something, and rush to finish my morning duties! Both of us are late for the office – everyday.

Fully knowing what we are doing wrong, Sri & I decided only yesterday that we will stop watching movies – no matter how tempting they are, rent DVDs in case we are desperate about the movie and cannot wait till they play it next time. We also decided for the nth time that we will try and get up at 6.30 in the morning today. We talked about it at 10.00 in the night. We hadn’t finished our dinner yet – so we sat down to eat. We happened to browse through the movies – and voila – Cinderella Man. Sri said “you have to watch this movie, awesome flick”. “Really?” I asked. We forgot about what we spoke just minutes back.

What a movie?!!!!! Loved the cast, drama, action, all of it. Yeah, I am watching it for the first time. We hit the sack at 1.20 in the ‘morning’. There begins the woes part of the post. Aditi is not comfortable for some reason. I am now guessing that she was hungry. She asked for water. Sri was fast asleep already. I asked him to fetch water – he probably swore something – I didn’t get it, but got the water. Usually, she drifts off to sleep when she drinks water…..but then, yesterday she didn’t. She started tossing and turning and then finally she asked for her grandma, then grandpa. It was 2.45 in the morning. I led her to their bedroom and knocked and said she wanted to be with them. Few seconds later, she was with me on my way back to our room. I gave her a biscuit (her favorite – you can literally blackmail her into things offering that), but she wouldn’t eat.

We must’ve drifted off in another 20-25 minutes. I woke up at 8.15 this morning. What a pathetic state of things!

I hate it when I don’t get 7 hours of sleep…….

Indian Born…..

2008-08-06T16:17:00.000+05:30

I read this article on Rediff:

http://specials.rediff.com/money/2008/aug/06slide1.htm

All of us in India, more so the media seem to think very highly of all those – Indian born, once –Indian, of Indian origin – people.

The most ridiculous was England Captain Nasser Hussain - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasser_Hussain - an Indian-born becomes English captain. Great feat, that.

I mean, agreed, they all glorify the average intelligence levels of average Indians, put or launch India on the global map. Yes, but isn’t this a shame? To identify everything remotely associated with India in a person, and say, this is what India is.

It is more pathetic, when the person concerned did what he/she did, without any support whatsoever from India in any form.

Who were those ladies who went to space? Indian connection found everywhere.

Be proud of India- mails – some x% of the scientists in NASA are Indians, this/these company/companies was/were started by Indians, blah, blah and more blah.

I would be proud, if some one even non-Indian did something here, than elsewhere. I am not bothered about the Indian connection in everything. I am a proud Indian.

Mohammed Uncle - I

2008-07-29T12:20:00.000+05:30

I’ve been meaning to write about this man for quite sometime now. Mohammed uncle – my dad’s driver for as long as we were in Coimbatore, has played a significant role in my life. He has influenced the lives of all of us, my sister, parents and me in more ways than one. I discovered that it was not just us, but so many more others from the ranks of founding partners of my dad’s firm till my dad’s junior partner, all loved as well as hated him, alike.

Oh, love him for what he was – hate him for the same thing actually, for taking control of most situations. He’d decide things for you and stand firm on it. The reason for his deciding for you would always be – ‘in your best interests’. Some of my dad’s partners couldn’t live with that. They would comfortably transfer him to another partner who could cope. I think he stuck to my dad’s senior SN mama (uncle) and next my dad, the most. Neither opened their mouths to contradict him. They just let him be!

Brief history of how we came to get associated with him:

My dad was taken partner at his current firm (he has never worked anywhere else in life, yet) and was posted in Coimbatore, under SN mama (that’s how my sis and I used to call him). Mohammed Arif (Mohd.) was the then driver to SN uncle. My dad only had this Vespa scooter then. So, whenever we needed to run an errand, or maybe rush us to the doc or some thing, we would call our dad at his office and Mohd uncle would be sent home for that purpose. That’s how we first got used to him. Our dad told us to call him Mohd 'uncle'. These errands were at least once a week and SN mama being a home-loving person, used to almost give away his car to us on evenings or weekends. We started getting to know Mohd better that way. After, maybe after a couple of years, I think all partners met and decided my dad became eligible to get a car of his own. Well, then he did not know how to drive. So, Mohd got us a driver, in the form of Azeez. I don’t remember to have ever liked him. I don’t know about the others, but I remember to have thought that had it been Mohd uncle in this situation, he would’ve acted like this, like that etc.

Soon after, SN mama was transferred to Chennai to take up a senior role in the Head Office. I think my sister and I were in primary school then. Mohd uncle became ours! Because the then junior partner, who came by to join my dad, knew to drive, and wanted to drive to work, himself.

That is where our journey began……..

Did I write this?

2008-07-15T14:40:00.000+05:30

I'd actually written this in an older blog of mine - as some one out there said - quoting self is so much fun LOL

Glorification of the self will eventually lead to a better expression of thought and help me move beyond the realms of the self.

Whatever that means!

Nithi

2008-07-15T14:33:00.000+05:30

My sister. She is off to the US to do her Masters next week. She was away from home for her undergrads too. I will miss her, bad.

She and I have been and still are at loggerheads for most of the issues that we happen to discuss. If we think we would both have the same opinion on something, we don’t discuss that at all. What’s the point? You get the drift. Our sole existence is to contradict each other.

But, she taught me fun. I am this, super-boring homosapien on earth. I never broke rules, never forgot homework, books, pencils, money, nothing. She always borrowed…I thought borrowing was below one’s pride. You admit that you failed (duh! Whoever gave me that idea?!). She thought it won you, friends. She always forgot. Every time she left for college, in a couple of days a parcel (huge or tiny) would follow from home, containing all things she left behind. This time, all of us have warned her that she will not get a parcel to the US.

She taught me how to shop. I excelled my teacher in the days to come, is a different matter. She demanded things, fought for her rights – against me, our mom and dad. She teased me till I cried for belonging to another family, after I got married. The fact that I still retain my maiden name professionally never bothers her. She disowned me. She probably still does. I vowed never to speak to her again some ten years back. She told me it was fun to shout “Kappathunga” (save me), when being driven back from school as if we were being kidnapped (poor Mohammed uncle, our driver – he used to sweat bullets!)

How I cried the last time, when she left for college after summer holidays, just before my wedding? She had finished all hers at home, but then I hadn’t broken down. I only consoled her. There she was, in Chennai Railway station, at her window seat and that’s when I burst out. All her friends had later told her, what a senti sis I was and what a b**** she was to not have responded. I liked that angle to it :-)

I don’t think I will cry this time, this weekend when I go visit her. I still don’t think we have grown apart or something. We still have our differences of opinions in some basic issues and I am sensing that’s why we aren’t like we were before. We still love to shop together – literally she’d shop till I drop. She is never tired……We still laugh at all our movies. They are ‘our movies’ because no one here at Sri’s enjoys it the whole-hearted way, we do. They need more humor. Bah! My sis and I could laugh our ass-off at things so silly…..most around us would only ponder why!

I would love to recall so many more things, love to keep on narrating, the fights we’ve had – that one where we were done with pillows, started hitting each other with hands and at one point were hanging from the side of the bed, the time when I was in teens, when she wasn’t yet, the way she was jealous of me…..when I grew jealous of her later, those days when she got her phone-calls when she was in her 3rd or 4th – oh so many more things. Fyi, I never got calls until I was in my secondary school. The way she exhibits a better taste in creative things, she being a better singer (way better), etc etc etc…..I think both of us share the same passion in only loving our dad…..we both love him, so very much.

Nithi holds a special place in my life. I still loathe her for her selfishness, rudeness and many a times condescending attitude to loads of people. She also finds many of my attributes objectionable. Heck! :-)

Not that we will not bump into each other again. It can’t happen like before, but. All said and done, she is my kutti sister. I will miss her around. I think I need to plan a vacation to South Carolina next.

Tata, bye-bye, see you, best of luck Nithi.

Oh, btw, Happy Birthday to you di....I know its tomorrow - but see naan dhaan first!

Blog Readership

2008-07-04T12:01:00.000+05:30

I have no readers, but my husband has one. What a dhrogi he is!

Romance and me

2008-07-02T15:00:00.000+05:30

The title sounds like one of Mills & Boon’s romances. How many I used to read during those days, when all my friends had love-interests in their life (in their 10th, 11th and 12th standards!), and I, being one outcast that I was (read I am), would cuddle up with some romance like this and dream!

Even for being whatever I was, I remember to have tried to put off (what a big joke) some guys getting a little too friendly with me, telling them that I was interested in one of my cousin’s cousins and that he also felt the same way. I had also given the character a name and a qualification, MBA. Years later, I get to marry one (MBA, that is), is a different story altogether. Hell, suddenly all these guys were more eager to know about the love-angle of my life. They thought it was impossible for me to have such a thing. And to say, I kept them interested in my stories for close to 2 years is something. Isn’t it? I think I have been well qualified to direct a mega-serial and maybe I am destined to do one soon. LOL

Then comes the real twist to the story…..I vacation to my cousin’s place one summer and end up falling heads over heels for her cousin there (more about this, in coming posts) – just months after I reel this story out at school to keep those charming Romeos at bay. That helped me add details to the romance I never had, backed by the reams of imagination and fantasy filed in me from the M&Bs. I started something up, 6 months down the line I am smitten and fulfill my dreams with stories for another 18 months. And, I had one of the finest audiences one could ever have. Come to think of it, I think that’s why autobiographies sell. We are all nosey curious.

Believe it or not, I even conjured up a fitting break-up story to it, when I started finding one of my classmates more attractive than the character I’d created! How my friends sympathized!

Important Note: I am still friends with at least a couple of those guys from school and I know they don’t read my blog. But being as lucky as I am, I should only expect them to start exploring the blog world rightaway. If you are one of my school pals, then I sincerely apologize for taking you for a ride. But for that entertainment you sure owe me some money.

I am J

2008-06-20T15:09:00.001+05:30

என்னத்தை சொல்றது?

என் புருஷன் என்னை விட்டுட்டு 'தசாவதாரம்' படம் பார்த்துட்டார். கோவம் கோவமா வருது. குழந்தைக்கு மொட்டை போட பழனிக்கு போன எடத்துல சார் காணாம போனதுக்கு இதுதான் காரணம் போல!

Anyway, I was J not because he went....but because he didnt take me along. Ethics and decorum அதுக்கு இடம் குடுக்கலை. மாமனார், மாமியார், அம்மா, அப்பா, தங்கை அண்ட் பாப்பாவை விட்டுட்டு போக முடியலை.

I tried convincing him (*she devil* tee hee!) out of the plan. He knows very well that I was totally enthu about the plan, but was tied down..... what to do!

Air conditioned travel

2008-06-09T10:56:00.000+05:30

Third A/c train compartment - boarded well in advance....Aditi is not feeling all right, she is cranky and keeps crying every time she loses body contact with me...the bedding was not in place; clean sheets had to be brought in; the guy in charge for all that in our compartment was probably new, all of us in our bay had to walk up to the guy to get our stuff....most of the rest were asleep already....Aditi wouldnt let go of me, so I take her also with me to get our new sheets and bedding....come back set our bed and put her to sleep.....she is fast asleep............

A couple of minutes later, someone far*(t)ed in the same bay in the A/c compartment.....!The train journey was as pleasant as it could get.

I will also talk about it

2008-06-06T11:01:00.000+05:30

I mean - etiquette.

Somethings have annoyed me and still do. I make a mental note of things that I shouldn't do. I end up only thinking about it. This time I want to write about it. Getting on and off a lift (elevator?).

People waiting in front of a lift, do so, just in front of the door. I am assuming that they want to be the first person to get in, when the door opens. When the door does open, I have seen people get a little irritated if the lift car has passengers in it, waiting to get out. Its a matter of fact thing.

These people want to get in even before those people want to get out....they try all means to do that. Say, if there are five people getting out, they typically file themselves one behind the other. The person who wants to get in, thinks he cant wait till all these get out. Tries to get in after 3 people are out, just in case, the 4th one is slow.....or gives the 5th one in such a 'can-you-not-do-it-faster' or 'move-it' stare. I promise, I've seen all this happen.

Now, dont you judge me by the people I am working with!

End of a ride

2008-06-06T10:59:00.000+05:30

"So, what have you named your baby?", she asked me.

I knew it was the last question. They did not have anything more to ask me or even tell me.

I said,"Aditi", and walked out.

Friday dressing

2008-05-30T13:25:00.000+05:30

I just have to write about it today – after years of simmering irritation

I do not believe in dressing up or rather down, on a Friday. I somehow don’t feel the need to exhibit my weekend mood. A lot of people are on the other side of the balance on this and they wish to Friday dress.

But, I have some observations on this. Girls wear outrageously outrageous clothes on Friday. Guys come out in those animal prints, floral print shirts and what not on those days. I am shocked to see that you guys buy such stuff. I thought the fad was all over with your college days.

I could be offending a whole bunch of people if they happen to read this (a big if, that is), but I stand by it. Fine – even if they just have to wear those block stripes or flashy colors to the office, I can see that they are not confident carrying it about. Most people (not all) just lack that attitude to match what they are wearing. I strongly recommend trying something on before buying it. Buy it when you really, really like what you see.

Frankly, I wear such out-dated stuff. I know it. I have never even tried to change my wardrobe. But, I have always wanted that dream makeovers – all those ravishing ladies on Oprah’s and stuff!!!! But I think I do not venture out to wear something bold, unless I am dead sure about it. Why all this rant? Because I saw so many awfully (understatement) dressed colleagues at office today! Yuck! That’s the word.

Love letter?

2008-05-28T14:05:00.001+05:30

Have you ever been written a love letter to? If yes, lucky you! :)

No one has ever written one to me......yeah! My husband emailed me his love......our courtship was a distant thingy.......

I remember now, a guy, sorry, a boy wrote a love letter to me when I was in my second standard. Shit, yes! And, I tore it apart like in the movies. It was the in-thing to do in the 80s yaar.

The boy didn't give up. He, ganged up with another boy, and wrote to us (yes, all five girls sharing our bench). The boys used to sit two benches ahead of us, and used to sing love songs to us....oh,my, yes, really. We were kids totally drawing inspiration from movies of that time. It so happened that the guys got caught by our teacher one fine day. The stupid teacher that she was, she reported that to our supervisor (aka primary school headmistress). That stupid lady (now I think they both were stupid) summoned all our parents. My mom asked me before the teachers whether such a thing happened, I said yes, and she asked me where those letters were? I told her I tore them as they were rubbish! Bleddy, she didnt feel proud of me.

Well, she never said a thing there. But she came home, told me that it was all a wrong thing to do. Told my dad about it, heck! Both of them made me sit down, spoke to me about it, I remember to have said something like "I know everything, you dont have to tell me"....and thats it, hell broke loose. I got one tight slap.

Boys, guys, men, never wrote to me after that!

There you go!

2008-05-23T14:37:00.000+05:30

Here she is: Ms. Aditi Srikrishnan

On 24-Dec-2007 - Her 1st Birthday

Aditi - birth story - V

2008-05-22T11:49:00.000+05:30

Part 4 - here.

The doctor came in, examined me and told me that I was 3 cm dilated. They started something in the IV. Cleaned me up and attached this heart beat monitor. Now, after reading so many birth stories, I think they gave my some thing like pitocin. About half an hour later, I started getting very frequent pains. They asked me if I’d eaten anything or want to eat something. I wanted to poop again. The doctor told me to do it then and there and told me that I cannot go to the bathroom now. I told her I hadn’t bathed and she told me that I can do it with the baby sometime later. I was surprised. I’d thought I am going to take some time.

I couldn’t control myself – I peed and pooped on the sheet there. I feel embarrassing to even narrate it now….but that’s what I did. The nurses pulled the sheet out, put in a new sheet in a jiffy. I don’t remember how. Then my water broke. The doctor brought in another doc (they were both juniors to the obg-gyn I went to), examined me and asked me to push closing my mouth, directing all the energy I had to the inside and not open my mouth, puff and give vent to it. I did it twice, but failed to coincide it with my contractions. But suddenly the docs declared me full and told me that they are moving me into the episiotomy room.

I got up from the bed, sat on the wheelchair and was wheeled into the room. They asked me to get on to the table, propped me up on some two big round pillows and tied my legs to a couple of posts. I saw a guy walking in from the other door and asked the doc, who he was. I was told that he was the paediatrician. Then the doc told me that I needed to push with my mouth closed and whenever I felt my pain. I pushed once, she said, ‘yes, again”. I told her I couldn’t – I didn’t have any contraction then. Just as I told her, I got one and I pushed hard. PLOP came the baby. It was 9.52 in the morning. The actual labour time, as I see it, the time I was moaning in pain, started at about 7 in the morning. Not bad, everyone told me!!!

Then they massaged my tummy and plop, plop, came out the placenta. I could see her being taken across to be given to the paed. They hadn’t told me which baby it was even then. I shouted out to the doc and asked her, where my baby was, was it a boy or a girl. They told me it was a girl. In a couple of minutes, they showed me the baby, she was 3.2kgs at birth. I liked her. She was a little rosy in color and round. She was long, I don’t remember how long….but then she was not too long, a little over average I think. But when she lost her birth weight in the following days, she started looking like one lizard! Now at 17 months, she is one devil and angel, all rolled in to one!

The stitching me up part was the worst thing of all. Stupid me, I didn’t know what kind of a tear I’d suffered, how many stitches they put and all that. I just wanted them to get it over with. That’s all. I pushed and the doc hurried. That’s where all my problems started. They apparently stitched a little bit of my anus also together. Gosh, I knew this only after 2 months, was in pain all through out. Because of the stress, I didn’t have enough milk at all. I went through hell. Lost sleep for 2-3 days at a stretch post delivery. I cried loads in the first 2-2.5 months for not being able to feed my daughter. I became hysterical, I think. Aditi never slept properly. The day we brought her back from the hospital (I was there for 5 days – cos Aditi had run temperature one day, so they kept us back for monitoring), she was crying all night in colic pain. She had one bad time. I did not know then, that it was the colic pain. She was ok when I nursed her, but for nursing her I had to go through BAD pain. I hated those episodes of having to miss sleep because of her. Things fell into place slowly after some 10 weeks, I think…..but very slowly.

Post delivery I had loads of infections, one after the other, they had to do a small job to undo the extra-stitch they'd done. I was in pain again after that. Better, unsaid, I feel now!

Aditi - birth story - IV

2008-05-22T11:01:00.000+05:30

I think the posts are getting too long, but I love the feeling of having to recall all of it and I just am not able to stop writing! My last part was here.

By mid – December, my mom, aunts, patti and me – all got really really tired of waiting. One of my aunts suggested that I take a second opinion of whether the head is engaged now, whether the delivery date has to be re-worked etc. She also suggested a doctor, who was retired from service now, but attended on deliveries sometimes. My mom and I visited her, the following day. She told me that my vagina was soft, so soft in fact that I had all chances of a good normal delivery. But she also told me that I look like I will deliver only by end of the year. I had no reaction to this news. I just exclaimed ‘Oh’! I thought I probably will give birth on the 1st of January.

I was due for an internal examination a week before my due date. I was scared to let the doctor do anything to me. I kinda screamed during the procedure. I was slightly shook up after the thing and was down with fever for the next three days. Those days were hell. I did not have any strength to even carry myself around. My mom now tells me that she feared if I’d had any pains then, I’d have to undergo a c-sec. Sri was also scared about me being out of health and offered to come down immediately. But I asked him to come over for the weekend.

Dec-23, 2006: Sri came down from Bangalore and I felt so relieved. He told me that “how I wish you just get the pain now, get to the hospital and give birth. Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?” I wish too, I said. I had a great dinner. I ate a good amount more than what I wanted. I loved whatever was for dinner that day. At about 10 in the night, I declared that I shouldn’t have eaten that much, as I felt my stomach make some strange noises. I retired to bed soon after emptying my tummy.

Dec-24, 2006: Should have been 2 or 2.30 in the morning. I felt like I wanted to poop and bad. I cursed myself for overloading myself with food and went to the bathroom. Came back and slept. After half an hour, I felt the same way again. I pooped again. This time I was not able to empty my stomach of all that, I thought was pushing. That must have been the first contraction. Really, I still don’t know. But I went back to sleep. At about 15-20 minutes later, I woke Sri up and told him that my tummy had gone for a toss and I am having pains. Really, I didn’t know that it was “the” pain. I voiced concerns that the doctor is going to admonish me for ruining my system before the due date; admit me; induce pain et al.

Sri woke my mother and grandma. They came over and I told them that I was feeling uncomfortable and I didn’t know what it was. My grandma told me that labour starts with a shooting pain in your back, usually. I immediately gave in to that idea and relaxed that whatever I was going through then, was not anyway near labour pains. My mom wanted to wait a while before waking my dad up. By then, I was in pain once every 15-20 minutes. She woke him up at 6. They all had some coffee and by 6.30 we left for the hospital. I think we reached the hospital at 7. By then my pain was a little more frequent. But that was nothing of the sorts we see in the movies. I got down from the car and walked in to the near-empty waiting hall – this Sunday morning. A nurse asked me if I wanted to be wheeled in. They showed me in to a room, I had to share with another lady. Apparently she was here since 5 that morning; she had come in after he water broke. My mother told me that she would likely deliver first and that mine would be by mid-day or end of day. They let me into that room and closed all visitors outside.

Hopefully Aditi reads all this one day! To be contd..

Aditi - birth story - III

2008-05-19T11:55:00.000+05:30

From Part 2, here.

Before, writing about my Chennai experiences, I want to thank my two devoted house helps in Bangalore. My maid, Kala, who by taking at least a couple of days off every fortnight, helped me flex my muscles. I did all vessels during that time. I also regularly dried clothes because that was not Kala’s job and did some cleaning on and off. But then, to give her, her due credence, she was and is still damn good (we’ve shifted house though). My cook, Lalitha mami, was great. While Sri always cribbed about her cooking, she wasn’t bad at all. She never missed a day. I had her cook for me both in the morning and the evening. She was literally godsend. She came at a time when I needed someone most – at the start of my second trimester when hunger pangs struck. My previous cook, Krishnamurthy, was also good. But I think he got paid much higher for the same time slot in another place. He took a week off and never came back.

In Chennai, I ate and I slept all I could and generally caught up with loads of friends. My good friend’s mom makes awesome puliyodarai and aviyal (being Iyengars). When I just told him one fine day that I wanted to taste it, he took so much pain to get 2 dabbas for me from his house in Velachery to mine in West Mambalam. A couple of my friends who were new moms, both who’d had c-sec, told me all about their ordeal. I just took the information in, without thinking too much about it or trying to figure out how I would react when my time came. I never did any baby shopping, I never read up about breast-feeding. I just read a lot of fiction which I’d missed during my office days.

Come first week of December, enters my grandma (my mom’s ma) from Hyderabad. We have a picture of all 4 of us together! Well, as soon as she set my eyes on me, she said, I would very likely have a baby boy and in that case, I would deliver at least 2 weeks in advance of my due date. I never asked her too many questions. It is better not to. Never try to reason things out. Just nod. Then in a week’s time, she’d expected my belly to shift downwards indicating some head-fixing and all that. When that didn’t happen, she was anxious because, she had booked her return tickets for the last week of January. This means, she had just about a month to spend with the new-born.

In the meantime, even I was getting a little too restless, I was angry with my dad for having pulled me out of office and work and Bangalore and Sri, way too early. I looked forward to alternate weekend visits by Sri. He worked the other weekends, just Saturdays. Everyday I religiously paced my mottai-maadi (terrace floor) up and down. I walked briskly all throughout my pregnancy period. And, last few weeks did not make any difference. I walked at least for half an hour once or twice a day. Just before my patti (grandma) arrived, I had some anal fissures and piles due to the extensive traveling in the first week of November. I’d traveled from B’lore to Chennai (for my parents’ anniversary), then from Chennai – Coimbatore for the shower and then back to Chennai. Food, heat and some constipation did me in. I suffered like crazy. The doc told me that in case, god forbid, I had to have a c-sec, he will operate on me for my anal thing too. That was scary. I was in bad pain. Regular application of medicines and a bland diet gave me good relief.

To be contd….

Aditi - birth story - II

2008-05-16T11:07:00.000+05:30

Continuing from here…

I drove to work everyday. I never felt uncomfortable after my initial sickness. Despite people advising me not to drive, some in fact warned me of after effects too, I enjoyed driving – even in Bangalore’s horrible traffic. Whenever I had to speed brake, or when I unexpectedly drove into pot-holes, I apologized to my baby. I sang to her then. It was our time. It could sound all clichéd, but I thought I was making up for all that time I lost throwing up. By the way, during the entire period of my pregnancy, I’d wanted the baby to be a girl, my companion. I have grown up with a sister; I do not know how a guy grows up. I thought I would be comfortable bringing a girl up, than a boy. Maybe, now I am confident……then, I wasn’t.

In a way, ignorance was bliss – I never researched extensively as to what should happen to me when, what should I be feeling, how should I prepare myself, and most important of all, how is the delivery going to be. It was all word of mouth – what my mom, m-i-l and my close friend, who was just a couple of months ahead of me, told me. In fact, I was pretty upset when the baby didn’t start kicking inside as per my friend’s schedule of things!

I had nearly 6 ultrasounds during my entire period….first two for viability of the fetus, as the doc thought, during the first scan the heart beat could not be heard and she wanted to be sure. Third one in the third month, fourth in the sixth month, fifth during eighth month before the doctor here in Bangalore could let me go to Chennai for delivery and one final one in Chennai, about 2 weeks before I delivered. I was also worried about the number of scans I had. Once or twice during the time, I also braved myself for expecting the unexpected – provisioning for other than good news. I tried to talk to Sri (hubby) about all possible outcomes of a delivery, but he just encouraged me to be positive and told me that we will evaluate things when we had to. I felt more than comfortable to leave it at that. Didn’t want to trouble myself any further.

I had my baby shower in the first week of November. My father (one extra-protective type) wanted me to come off to Chennai right away. I was due on December 25th. My mother in law was with him on this. She had nightmares about me getting sudden pains when driving et al. In toto, they bundled me off to Chennai, close to 8 weeks before I was due. I had wanted to work….but my doc didn’t want me to travel in the last few weeks. I was rock solid….but no one would want my opinion on that. I was delivering my first baby – I shouldn’t take chances. Having this been thrust down my throat, I spoke to my manager for an extra month’s leave without pay (boo-hoo) and left for Chennai.

Will be continued....

Aditi - birth story - I

2008-05-15T17:51:00.000+05:30

First of all, thanks to all those mothers and their birth stories….thanks for inspiring me to do this.

My pregnancy period has been very typical of what we see in the movies – the lady who is pregnant first falls down unconscious, then a doc or maybe in Tamil movies, an old lady comes by, checks the pulse and says “neenga amma-aaga poreenga” (You are going to become a mother). Cut scene – Next scene – the lady rushes to the nearest available bathroom to waaaah---puke.

Well, even if I did not fall unconscious, I was feeling strangely giddy at 12.00 in the noons, more than an hour before lunch time. Then, I used to think that my cornflakes intake wasn’t enough. At about 1.15, on some days, if I hadn’t had my lunch by then, I would feel way too dizzy. After two weeks of this ordeal only I skipped my period and took the home test. Gosh! I couldn’t take it at first. We hadn’t planned it at all. No, I don’t blame it on condoms or anything. I think we mis-calculated the safe periods. After a lot of thinking through, we said we will go ahead with this. More than me, my husband was sure that we go ahead.

Cut – next scene – actually next 3 months I ate and threw up all that I could. I cried at every available instance. I hated anybody who tried to console me that “its always like that”. I hated my hubby for trying to pat me, I hated him even if he touched me. But he has been quite patient. Hehe…sometimes I used to blame my mood swings to my pregnancy. I envied everyone who said, I never had as much as you do. I hadn’t informed my office as yet. All because of the “drishti” thing!!! I used to sneak into the bathrooms, bend down as close as possible (yuck!!!) to the commodes and throw up. The sound of me vomiting shouldn’t come out you see….I hate myself for being secretive now. J

But, immediately after the first trimester got over, I stopped throwing up completely. It was like the baby thought, - Let me stop now – poor thing this. She stopped at the dawn of my second trimester. Bless her! I started loving being pregnant that day.

Now, me also going to do it in parts! Oh how I love the ideas that you guys give me.
Cheers!

Must dos

2008-05-14T17:12:00.000+05:30

I have been meaning to write about these two things for some time now:
Just posting this to keep reminding myself -

In memory of beloved Mohammed uncle (aka Mohd. Arif / Bai/ driver)
Aditi - birth story

I have been *totally* smitten by the birth stories doing rounds in the blogosphere. Why leave Aditi's out of it? I wish to write about both of them some time soon.

Random Dumb Conversations

2008-03-26T13:25:00.000+05:30

People who know me know that I am almost famous for this - absolutely random and dumb conversations. I do not consider myself eternally dumb though - I know that I am not the right person to judge this, but I thought I should throw in a disclaimer here.

The main problem with me is that I just do not think before I speak or many a times, even, write. The point of this post was not that - to ramble on about my meritorious activities - I saw a couple of instances where people spoke so dumbly to break ice.

We were on our journey back to Bangalore from Chennai where this is the conversation between Ms.X andMs.Y -

X: Are from Chennai? I meant to ask, is Chennai your native?
Y: No, I just used to work there. I used to stay at my aunt's. Just visiting you know.
X: Oh, so where in TN are you from?
Y: Oh, thats very near Chennai anyway (says something like Vellore, Vizhupuram or something)
X: Oh, really - do you know Vidya there? She used to work with me in my previous organisation. She comes from that place only.
Y: *blinks* *politely smiles* *no answer*

I mean look at this, Vidya from Vellore or Vizhupuram is so famous that even when Ms.Y didnt know which previous organisation this Ms.X was referring to, she needed to know!

I would've said "Oh, yeah, the Vidya who used to speak so nicely of you?, Yes, I know" or return it with "Do you know Karthik?"

This one is cool!

2008-03-20T12:26:00.001+05:30

Some strange inferences - 1

2007-12-10T12:13:00.000+05:30

The title may suggest that I have this intention of writing a series, but well, I have no clue why I gave it a number - a Delete could have done the trick - but a thought struck me. What if eons and eons later I make one another such inference - I need not break my head to come up with a title for the post - me, so damn clever :)

Before coming to what 'inference' I made, I want to tell passers-by, who happen to read this, and those poor souls who came here to read my posts that - I am sorry if I happened to offend you in some way!

Here is my inference:

I sincerely believe that women (thats how much i know), when we go to beauty parlors, we get the best service from those women/men there who are homosexuals.

Hmm, aah, nah, no....no comments rightaway. I am straight.

I just think the lady who did that facial for me yesterday is one lesbian (big time!!!). She was 'assigned' to me yesterday, by the manager, to take care of all my 'needs'. She did a brilliant job....and somehow left me thinking that way!!!

I dont have the nerve to ask her, anyway ;) So, lets leave it at that.

I kind of feel that, someone out there does not want me to write any more of my inferences. But, well ya fella, keep that to yourself. I have no intentions of stopping here!

Bitching at work

2007-10-22T14:35:00.000+05:30

Some revelation this: Men bitch about co-workers, bosses, ex-bosses, ex-co-workers, much more than women do.

I'd read about this somewhere but did not experience it until recently, oh crap, until today!! Itis such a cool feeling. To bitch about someone - men and women together. We did just that in office today. Bleddy, who cares! Its such a soul-filling experience. You know that so many others hate that particular *person(s)* as much as you do. At one point a couple of us opined that we are being childish and/or immature in bitching about that someone. Nevertheless, we couldn't deny that we were happy doing it.

Come to think of it, a person could have such an overpowering effect, affect your thoughts, the process - its such an irritating feeling. I was reading the dilbert blog the other day and came across this post about 'hating someone'. I would kill too! :)

Long time no see!

2007-10-15T15:33:00.000+05:30

It has been a long time since I blogged. I almost thought I'd forgotten my user name and password. Thankfully, in some dreamy moment in my life a couple of months ago, I must have changed it to my google - gmail id and also re-claimed my old blogs. I dont know why i did that last thing though. My older blogs, cant say how different it is from this one, were a series of my experiments with blogger and most of them mishaps too.

I started my first one - did not have a proper name - had read something about Germany and Autobahn and gave it a stupid name. Then I got engaged to get married. I ceased to exist on the blogosphere with immediate effect. My world revolved around my to-be-hubby dearest. We got married and then moved to Pune, a month later re-located to Bangalore and I joined work again.

There I began another one. Total waste because, I fell ill a month into my work, hospitalised, came back, recuperated, got pregnant, no time for anything else and now my baby is over 9 months old and I want to blog again. Dont know how longer I would carry on here, but the intention is definitely there!

Perceptions - Ever spotted a mother feeding her baby?

2007-07-30T16:03:00.000+05:30

This could be - in your opinion - a rant in a 'what this world is coming to' genre. But I seriously wanted to speak out:

My husband and I were driving back home. At a signal,which also happens to be near a small temple, I noticed a woman, in rags (a beggar, most probably), starting to breast-feed her crying baby.

A mother myself, I told Sri that I pitied her state, wherein she couldn't afford even that privacy to comfortably feed her kid. My husband's view was - Who on earth would look (read: letch/lech) at a feeding mother?

Silenced for a few seconds, I asked him just one question: We are living in that world where there are kids, babies, who have been abused sexually and/or raped. There are people who can look at the innocent, helpless babies as objects of pleasure (for them at least). Would it be difficult then to letch at a mother who is, naturally, expected to feed her crying baby?

Would you definitely look away?

Wrote this long time back - "Limited"

2007-07-26T15:08:00.000+05:30

I just discovered something about myself. I have limited – vocabulary, wit, sense of humor, money (oh yes!!!)…….kinda endless though I would like not to mention some of the other particulars of that “endless” list in order not to remind myself of the things that I lack or my shortcomings. One more thing is that, I also found out that I will not be able to do anything about any of them……My discovery of the list was in itself an achievement for me. I am surprised people do not recognize that when a person knows “who he/she is”…it ought to be acknowledged. No body gives me a damn…..another thing I know but not why!

The story so far...

2007-05-11T11:43:00.000+05:30

.....its over. Bygones are bygones. Its the journey from here that matters.