Aug 19, 2011

To you, R

I have known you for 6 years now, very much the time I've been married. To think that 6 years is all its ever going to be is not a pleasant feeling. I don't have a word to describe the relationship and the rapport we shared. The world calls it in different names - in probably every language. To me it was not just that - in fact  we never were what the relationship term meant us to be.

I don't remember when I started talking to you the way we did. It was easy to talk to you and could connect with you immediately on many counts. We'd talk of careers, siblings, movies, everything under the sun - perfectly understanding what the other wants to tell. I remember how you behaved the minute Sri and I told you we were in the family way. Every time I think of it, I chuckle. From one minute where you let me carry the food to the table to set it up, to the next where you insisted you'll only do it, treating me like one fragile piece, good fun it was. We hadn't told anyone in the family except parents at that time. Well, we probably wouldn't have told you when we did, had I not got my nausea attack right then :P  And how fond of Aditi you and K have been? (Well I think Advait's time with you guys paled in comparison to the ones Aditi had as he is not an attention seeker) You don't know this - that I was told off by your mom for taking your side arguing with her to let you take the time you need to get married. Then the girl-dheko phase :P Then the wedding last year.  

We haven't fought, have we? And we can never now. Now that you've betrayed us. Sri called me to tell me that. I'd have ripped you apart if you were in front of me. I wanted to yell at you for not taking the helmet. Sri then told me the helmet was shattered. You were not just my husband's cousin, you were my friend, my batch mate (remember when you realised we were only a month apart and you don't actually have to call me 'manni' (bhabhi)). You were the son everyone would yearn to have given birth to. You and K are what N and I are to our parents. I dont think there is anyone who doesn't like you for the genuine person you are/ have been.

Why did you come to spend the Aug 15 weekend with us? I see you in every corner of our house and I can't bear to think that was the last I saw of you. It breaks my heart to see your wife mourn you. You left Bangalore without playing Taboo with us. Without finishing that breezer. Without taking your wife to the Iskon temple she wanted to see. Without the mandatory dinner at our Dhaba.

I'll miss you da. Badly.